Jewish girl: Where did you get this necklace?
Christian boy: It’s not a necklace.
Jewish girl: Oh, right! It’s those rosemary beads.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Agnostic
Guy to friends: Did anyone leave a belt at my house? I found one in my tree.
–LIRR
Overheard by: hbs
Drunk teen: You know, hipsters would be more successful as a movement if they had a purpose.
–Union Sq Park
Overheard by: Martina
Girl: I like to call the guys I’ve fucked by their jobs: The Cowboy, The Olympian, The Firefighter, The Soldier. Maybe tonight I can add The Hipster. They don’t have careers, do they?
–Brooklyn bound L train
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m like 3 hipsters deep right now.
–Siren Festival, Coney Island
Girl: I see these hipster girls and they’re in those little skirts with the high heels, and they’re on their bikes. I’m like, what are you doing? I hope you get hit by a car.
–1st Ave between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Kira
Hipster boy, watching Mac Genius leave the store: Did you see his shirt? It just said “genius” in little letters.
Hipster girl: Ugh, that’s so Urban Outfitters.
Hipster boy: Ugh, totally.
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: i sell the iPods
Girl: This has sterile in it. I can’t buy this; I’m allergic to sterile.
–Duane Reade, 17th & 3rd
Overheard by: mk
American woman, to Arab cashier: What, you didn’t understand what I said? Man, you illiterate.
–Classon Ave, Brooklyn
Chick: I mean, I wasn’t really mentally thinking about it.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Frat boy: Why do they call it “Steak Shack” when it doesn’t sell steaks?
–Shake Shack, Madison Sq Park
Drunk teen girl, raising her beer: Here’s to independence…and the only country that’s got it!
–Waterside Plaza
Overheard by: David Slone
Teen girl: Rebecca wanted to get brown. But brown is such a black color…Well, not that it’s black. But you know.
–D train
Overheard by: Rachel
Young guy to his girlfriend: Shut your fuckin’ mouth when you’re talking to me!
–Outside of K-mart, Astor Place
Overheard by: snap snap
Shiksa, to Jewish friend wearing a chai necklace: What exactly is your necklace? I’m trying to decide if it’s an elephant or someone bending over.
–Starbucks, Upper West Side
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Fashionista #1: We really spent a lot of money on ourselves today.
Fashionista #2: Yeah, we did some damage.
Fashionista #1: Next week we need to, like–
Fashionista #2: –Do charity work?
Fashionista #1, laughing: Seriously. Can we buy something cute for that?
–50th & 5th
Overheard by: Amused
Anorexic JAP: What, you couldn’t afford an entire outfit?
Obese woman in Britney Spears get-up: What, bitch, you couldn’t afford an entire meal?
Anorexic JAP: [silence]
–Uptown E train
Fat girl: So I think I lost my favorite jeans.
Friend: What jeans?
Fat girl: You know, the ones that make my ass look small.
Friend: Honey, you can’t lose something that doesn’t exist.
–Union Square
