Fashion

Juvenile Wednesday One-Liners

Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world!

–125th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher.

Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: student

Little girl: Big Brother is watching!

–Franklin St & Church St

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly?

–Corsa Ave, the Bronx

Overheard by: Edward Carney

Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change!

–116th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Ken Yapelli

Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs?

–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush

Overheard by: Cupcake

Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!

–6th Ave & 17th St

I Can’t Believe You Managed to Catch the Bus

Lady #1: Is this express?
Lady #2, looking at her purse: Oh no, this is Prada
Lady #3: I think she was asking about the bus.
Lady #2: Oh…Can you believe I got this on sale?

–M4 Bus, going down 5th Ave

Overheard by: Lil wayne

Technicolor Wednesday-One-Liners

Voice on loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, someone has lost a pair of ladies’ red-rimmed eyeglasses. That’s a pair of women’s glasses with red frames, looking for you. Get it? Cause they’re glasses, looking for…Oh, nevermind.

–Queens County Farm Museum

Overheard by: amused visitor

Girl: I only like white wine in Paris

–Union Pool

Overheard by: Andrea

Hobo: I am a Vietnam veteran. I cannot work due to the effects of Agent Orange. Agent Orange was used in Vietnam to kill all the vegetarians.

–Uptown R train

Cop: So what does the red light mean, dat you gotta come to a complete stop?

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: Goueznou

Student to tourists: No, no. The black-draped building is Silver. The white building is Brown. See?

–Broadway & Mercer

Overheard by: booksandlibretti

Coast guard officer: Oh darn, I should have worn my pink coast guard hat today.

–South Street Seaport, Avon Breast Cancer Walk

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Wardrobe Malfunction

Young professional woman, trying in vain to flag a cab uptown: I should have worn something sluttier today.

–25th & Park

Overheard by: Mike S

Business woman: All I need are some pasties, Daisy Dukes, and some four-inch heels. Then I’ll get a promotion.

–43rd & Lex

Overheard by: I thought that she worked in an office

Girl: The place is Salsa-ey, so dress a little slutty.

–St. Mark’s & 3rd

Overheard by: Ronnie Q

Tween girl in hot-pants and tight shirt: I can’t buy that. My mom doesn’t let me wear baggy clothes.

–Target, Atlantic Center, Brooklyn

Chick: I want hooker boots… but not in the heels. I want flats.

–Hunter College

Conservative guy: The second smartest person in this country is Ann Coulter. And let me tell you, she looks good in a pair of tight pants and Manolos at 2:30 in the morning.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: Stupid Liberal Hottie

Chick on cell: Well, then I don’t feel so bad about going in a little vinyl skirt if you’re just going to be wearing underwear.

–Harlem

Overheard by: McFreaky

A Muffin AND The Sweetest Compliment Ever. Will You Marry Me?

American girl: Get yourself a fucking muffin and let’s go.
British boy: I don’t have any cash.
Girl: Use my credit card, I’m leaving now.
Boy: I can’t use your card. I don’t have your id.
Girl: They don’t check, they never check. You look like a woman, you look like a fucking transexual.
Boy: Really?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: johnjoseph bibby

How T-Shirt Magazine Was Born

Clerk #1: I’ve always wanted to start my own magazine.
Clerk #2: Yeah, but there are so many magazines out!
Clerk #3: I’ve always wanted to start my own T-shirt company.

–American Apparel, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by:

If You’re Getting Married

Tourist lady #1, holding dress: Hmmm… I think I’m going to get the red one because it’s more Asian than the other ones. Right?
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, red is definitely more Asian.

–Souvenir shop, Mott St

Overheard by: Sannie

For the Anal Sex-Toy Fetishist Who Loves to Cook

Jewish girl: Where did you get this necklace?
Christian boy: It’s not a necklace.
Jewish girl: Oh, right! It’s those rosemary beads.

–Astoria

Overheard by: Agnostic

He Invited Them Over For a Couple of Belts

Guy to friends: Did anyone leave a belt at my house? I found one in my tree.

–LIRR

Overheard by: hbs

Wednesday One-Liners Are Hip-Deep in Vintage Crap

Drunk teen: You know, hipsters would be more successful as a movement if they had a purpose.

–Union Sq Park

Overheard by: Martina

Girl: I like to call the guys I’ve fucked by their jobs: The Cowboy, The Olympian, The Firefighter, The Soldier. Maybe tonight I can add The Hipster. They don’t have careers, do they?

–Brooklyn bound L train

Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m like 3 hipsters deep right now.

–Siren Festival, Coney Island

Girl: I see these hipster girls and they’re in those little skirts with the high heels, and they’re on their bikes. I’m like, what are you doing? I hope you get hit by a car.

–1st Ave between 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Kira

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