Guy: Damnit, no girl ever wants to go out with me.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: I don’t think girls like me; they say I’m an ass.
Girl: I like you!
Guy: I don’t date dudes.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
Guy: Damnit, no girl ever wants to go out with me.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: I don’t think girls like me; they say I’m an ass.
Girl: I like you!
Guy: I don’t date dudes.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
Girl: Like, every time I made, like, a life-changing effort to spend time with him, he was an hour and a half late. For stupid reasons, like he fell asleep on the subway and ended up in Queens.
Guy: Yeah, that’s really laid-back.
–56th & 9th
Overheard by: emily
Woman #1: It’s his second wedding, and he’s having one hundred and fifty people.
Woman #2: Wow, I don’t even think I had that many at my first wedding.
Young woman, toasting: To the asshole.
Woman #2: Oh, come on, your father is not an asshole.
Young woman: Fine.
Woman #2: He’s a schmuck.
–15th & 3rd
Overheard by: Anna
Girl #1: Why don’t you just email me?
Girl #2: Oh, let me guess: hotmail? You look like you use hotmail!
Girl #1: Yahoo…Wait, was that a come-on?
–R train
Overheard by: Michael
Denial: This kind of fits. It’s a little tight here, you see?
Reason: Yeah, it kinda makes you look pregnant. Maybe get the next size up?
Denial: Fuck you. I am not buying a size 10.
Reason: No one will know; it’s just a number on the inside of the dress.
Denial: No, seriously, fuck you. I don’t believe this. Let’s just go to Subway. I am starving.
–Fitting room, Saks 5th Avenue
Girl: But can’t the police seize it if it’s a crime scene?
Logistical genius: If the police could seize a crime scene, no one in Brooklyn would have a house.
–Backyard barbeque, Fort Greene
Overheard by: inge
Girl #1: James told me that Sara and Greg just got a dog together!
Girl #2: Oh my gawd, they’ve only been together for, like, two months!
Girl #1: I know! James asked me if I wanted to get a dog with him and I was like, “Hello, I’m not even ready to have an abortion with you yet, let alone get a dog!”
–Serafina restaurant
Overheard by: Appalled
Girl: Jeanette’s boyfriend’s girlfriend has one.
Guy: Wait, Jeanette’s boyfriend’s girlfriend?
Girl: Yeah, I know. It’s really messed up, but she’s cool with it.
–1270 Ave of the Americas
Mid-20’s woman #1: What’s the best way to get puke out of leather?
Mid-20’s woman #2: I think you’re too old to be asking that question.
–140th & Broadway
