Girl: But can’t the police seize it if it’s a crime scene?
Logistical genius: If the police could seize a crime scene, no one in Brooklyn would have a house.
–Backyard barbeque, Fort Greene
Overheard by: inge
Girl: But can’t the police seize it if it’s a crime scene?
Logistical genius: If the police could seize a crime scene, no one in Brooklyn would have a house.
–Backyard barbeque, Fort Greene
Overheard by: inge
Girl #1: James told me that Sara and Greg just got a dog together!
Girl #2: Oh my gawd, they’ve only been together for, like, two months!
Girl #1: I know! James asked me if I wanted to get a dog with him and I was like, “Hello, I’m not even ready to have an abortion with you yet, let alone get a dog!”
–Serafina restaurant
Overheard by: Appalled
Girl: Jeanette’s boyfriend’s girlfriend has one.
Guy: Wait, Jeanette’s boyfriend’s girlfriend?
Girl: Yeah, I know. It’s really messed up, but she’s cool with it.
–1270 Ave of the Americas
Mid-20’s woman #1: What’s the best way to get puke out of leather?
Mid-20’s woman #2: I think you’re too old to be asking that question.
–140th & Broadway
Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss?
Guy: No, he’s Swedish.
Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable.
–Sprint Store, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Thunder
Girl: They were all over each other, practically disrobing.
Guy: Hey, I might have liked to have seen that.
Girl: No you wouldn’t have. They were Australian.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Wic
Girl #1: Did you see that Italian lady offer me her seat on the subway?
Girl #2: Yeah, so?
Girl #1: So, it’s the shirt. This fucking expensive shirt makes me look pregnant.
Girl #2: So don’t wear it anymore.
Girl #1: No, it was expensive. I’d rather look like a well-dressed, knocked-up slut than a single girl with sub-par taste in clothing.
–AOL Time Warner Center, Columbus Circle
Woman: She’s always telling me, “You’re so wonderful, you’re so wise, you’re such a great friend.” And I’m like, “No, I’m just the only person left who still listens to you.”
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Zed
Boyfriend: Oooh, you look pretty in that dress.
Girlfriend: You’re revolting. Don’t touch me.
Queer buddy: Jeremy, this is your stop. Penn Station. Get out.
Boyfriend: No it isn’t. This is 96th Street.
Girlfriend: Do you have any idea how much I hate you? Stop touching me.
–Downtown A train
Overheard by: Shane
Guy #1: Wait a sec, what train is this? What am I on?
Guy #2: I’m on your mom. That’s what I’m on.
–D train
