Chick #1: Blowjobs, yeah, it takes practice. After you do it three or four times you get the hang of it.
Chick #2: Have you ever done black?
Chick #3: No, but it’s so disgusting. Just imagine a black…thing in your mouth. Eww.
Chick #1: It is pretty nasty. It must taste really bad, too.
–Uptown F train
Overheard by: Ting
Belgian friend: Have you ever been to Belgium?
American friend: Yes. Five times.
Belgian friend: Really? Five times? What did you think of it?
American friend: It was beautiful, and the food was fantastic. But I noticed the people there looked so sad and depressed. Although I did see a certain pride in their faces…like they know they make great products.
Belgian friend, thoughtfully: Mmmm, yes. We do make great products.
–Joyce Theater, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: Shannon
Skater dude #1: I am mad smart, yo. My parents won’t even tell me my IQ. It’s so high they’re afraid to.
Skater dude #2: I seriously doubt that, man.
Skater dude #1: No, my sister’s way smart. She’s getting her Master’s degree, and my parents told me mine was higher than hers.
Skater dude #2: Dude, she could be smart but you could totally not be. It skips a generation.
Skater dude #1: Not in my family it doesn’t.
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: eiaboca
Guy: Man, I can’t wait. Another half an hour and I can go get fucked up.
Friend: You goin’ out?
Guy: Nah, I got work!
–125th & Riverside
Overheard by: Egg Bird
Guy: Damnit, no girl ever wants to go out with me.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: I don’t think girls like me; they say I’m an ass.
Girl: I like you!
Guy: I don’t date dudes.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
Girl: Like, every time I made, like, a life-changing effort to spend time with him, he was an hour and a half late. For stupid reasons, like he fell asleep on the subway and ended up in Queens.
Guy: Yeah, that’s really laid-back.
–56th & 9th
Overheard by: emily
Woman #1: It’s his second wedding, and he’s having one hundred and fifty people.
Woman #2: Wow, I don’t even think I had that many at my first wedding.
Young woman, toasting: To the asshole.
Woman #2: Oh, come on, your father is not an asshole.
Young woman: Fine.
Woman #2: He’s a schmuck.
–15th & 3rd
Overheard by: Anna
Girl #1: Why don’t you just email me?
Girl #2: Oh, let me guess: hotmail? You look like you use hotmail!
Girl #1: Yahoo…Wait, was that a come-on?
–R train
Overheard by: Michael
Denial: This kind of fits. It’s a little tight here, you see?
Reason: Yeah, it kinda makes you look pregnant. Maybe get the next size up?
Denial: Fuck you. I am not buying a size 10.
Reason: No one will know; it’s just a number on the inside of the dress.
Denial: No, seriously, fuck you. I don’t believe this. Let’s just go to Subway. I am starving.
–Fitting room, Saks 5th Avenue
