Girl #1: So what do you see in him?
Girl #2: Well, he sorta reminds me of Brian, from Family Guy. Y’know, the dog?
Girl #1: You can NOT date somebody on that basis!
Girl #2: But he’s adorable… I am NOT a pedophile!
–Morningside Heights
Girl #1: So what do you see in him?
Girl #2: Well, he sorta reminds me of Brian, from Family Guy. Y’know, the dog?
Girl #1: You can NOT date somebody on that basis!
Girl #2: But he’s adorable… I am NOT a pedophile!
–Morningside Heights
Girl #1: At least I still kept my perfume.
Girl #2: Oh my gosh, did you leave your perfume behind?
Girl #1: No, I said I brought it with me.
Girl #2: Wait, do you still have your perfume?
–Spring & Broadway
English girl: The Strokes could do anything and be hot.
Friend: Yeah.
English girl: Even, like… hmm, I was going to say even if they were having a gay orgy, but —
Friend: That would be hot anyway!
English girl: Yeah! So they’d still be hot even if they…
Friend: Were peeing.
–MAC, Spring St
Dude #1: So what’s going on with *Paige?
Dude #2: Oh! She doesn’t have cancer!
Dude #3: Sweet! Let’s get mohawks!
Dude #1: Well, there goes my night.
–Arion & Broadway, Bushwick
Girl #1: I’ve been doing eHarmony, and all of the guys they’ve matched me with have fit my personality really well.
Girl #2: I want to try eHarmony.
Queer: You’re getting married in, like, three months.
Girl #2: I know… I’m just curious.
–Uptown 6 train
Overheard by: I Know a Good Divorce Lawyer
Chick #1: You know what today is a perfect day for?
Chick #2: Shopping?
Chick #1: No. Gaelic football!
–87th & 2nd
Girl #1: Yeah, so Mike and Nicole talk every day now!
Girl #2: What the fuck? Mike never calls me. I haven’t talked to him in weeks. What an asshole!
Girl #1: When was the last time you gave Mike a blowjob?
–Bed Bath & Beyond, 61st & 1st
Overheard by: i don’t want to give mike a bj
Guy: I don’t know if you believe in reincarnation or anything, but I just have this feeling that my mother and I have a lot of shit to work out. Maybe in my next life she’ll just be my cat or something.
Girl: What would you name her?
Guy: Pussy.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Girl #1: Yeah, I need to buy a new cell phone; mine is broken.
Girl #2: How come.
Girl #1: I dropped it in the sand during my vacation.
Girl #2: That’s how it broke?
Girl #1: No, it was fine but the sand was all over it, so I decided to rinse it clean with pouring water from the bathroom sink.
–Central Park
Girl #1: He’s a whore.
Girl #2: A man-slut?
Girl #1: Yeah, but with the same woman for the last five years.
Girl #2: That’s like calling your mom a slut for being married to your dad.
–32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: K.A.
