Guy: He’s kind of cute.
Girl: No he’s not, I do not approve.
Guy: Whatever, I think he’s a really interesting person.
Girl: Of course he’s interesting. He’s addicted to coke and he’s a gay porn star and we know all of this about him and we’ve only known him for 5 minutes.
–no idea bar 20th St & 5th Ave
Rhodes Scholar wigger: Yeah, we ain’t together no more. Bitch had the nerve to dump me.
Friend: What happened? You guys looked fine last week. It doesn’t make sense.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: She wasn’t down with how I roll. Always dissin’ the way I talk and shit–you know, correcting me and shit. Said she couldn’t take it no more, that I was always actin’ ign-i-ant or some shit. Like she’s some brain scientist or some shit. Bitch was always wrong anyways.
Friend: Brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: What?
Friend: You said brain scientist. I think you meant brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: Dat’s what I said nigga, you just heard me wrong.
Friend: You know what, suddenly it does makes sense.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Guy: I’m gonna go take a shower.
Girl #1: Yeah, I want to take a shower, too.
Girl #2: Oooh! Me, too!
Girl #1: Let’s take a joint shower!
–2 train
Overheard by: already showered
Girl #1: Can you believe that my boyfriend is still mad at me for that?
Girl #2: Jeez, who knew that throwing an orange at someone’s head can change the whole dynamic of a relationship.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jess
Guy #1: So my roommate keeps kosher.
Guy #2: Dude, that’s awesome.
Guy #1: Why is that awesome?
Friend: ‘Cause you now have intricate, firsthand knowledge of the best pastrami sandwiches this side of Park. In fact, I think you should call him right now. I want a knish.
–6 train
Overheard by: Not to mention the best lawyers, doctors, sch
Girl: He’s way too intense for me.
Guy: How so?
Girl: He likes poetry, and his MySpace page is totally black and stuff.
–Chinatown Brasserie, Lafayette St
Girl #1: So what do you see in him?
Girl #2: Well, he sorta reminds me of Brian, from Family Guy. Y’know, the dog?
Girl #1: You can NOT date somebody on that basis!
Girl #2: But he’s adorable… I am NOT a pedophile!
–Morningside Heights
Girl #1: At least I still kept my perfume.
Girl #2: Oh my gosh, did you leave your perfume behind?
Girl #1: No, I said I brought it with me.
Girl #2: Wait, do you still have your perfume?
–Spring & Broadway
English girl: The Strokes could do anything and be hot.
Friend: Yeah.
English girl: Even, like… hmm, I was going to say even if they were having a gay orgy, but —
Friend: That would be hot anyway!
English girl: Yeah! So they’d still be hot even if they…
Friend: Were peeing.
–MAC, Spring St
Dude #1: So what’s going on with *Paige?
Dude #2: Oh! She doesn’t have cancer!
Dude #3: Sweet! Let’s get mohawks!
Dude #1: Well, there goes my night.
–Arion & Broadway, Bushwick
