20-something girl, bawling: It’s not funny! I turn boys gay, Dad.
–Aroma Cafe
Headline by: shudder
Runners-Up:
· “A Father’s Dream Comes True” – 6th Floor Blogger
· “Put Other Daddy on the Phone!” – KJM
· “There Are No Strap-Ons Without Consequences” – Captain Hetero
· “There, There, Liza. It’ll Be Okay.” – Howard Bannister
· “Worst Super Power Ever” – Cricket
Man: Excuse me, could you tell me where–
Biotech, interrupting: –Look, I don’t have time to make up fake directions.
–W Broadway
Headline by: Trey Jackson
Runners-Up:
· “And This Rudeness Is Two Seconds Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back” – Markle
· “And, Being a New Yorker, I Certainly Won’t Give You Real Ones” – Yana
· “Mapquest’s Employee Of the Month” – Claire
· “Or The Knowledge for Real Ones” – DIck
· “So Take a Left Over There” – emily bess
· “Take a Cab. Be Sure You Tell the Driver You’re from Out Of Town.” – jnr
JAP halting mid-stride: Wait a sec… Why are my pants wet?!
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: my boyfriend is a grizzly bear
Headline by: John
Runners-Up:
· “And Who Dropped That Baby?” – trade800
· “Bob the Urinating Hobo Ninja Strikes Again” – Darryl S.
· “Did A Bag Of Money Just Walk By?” – Jolly
· “The Joys Of Unknown Pregnancy Coming Full Term” – The Lazy Canadian
· “This Eventually Happens to Every New Yorker” – Dagre
· “Was Too Busy Shopping to Be Toilet Trained” – G
Woman in traditional African attire, on phone: That girl don’t do nothin’ but make money!
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: kate
Headline by: T Perk
Runners-Up:
· “AND Her Clitoris Is Still Attached, the Bitch!” – s h
· “Actually, It’s Babies, but After They’re Sold, Same Difference” – M
· “Oprah’s International Press Agent” – PeterG
· “She Should Be Popping Out Her 10th Kid by Now!” – steph
Man: The one time I bought a steak from here I left it out and it turned all brown.
Cashier: Yeah?
Man: Yeah… But then the next time I just put it in my pocket and it stayed good all day.
–D’Agastino
Overheard by: kimmy-yo
Headline by: Gaping MAW
Runners-Up:
· “Don’t Ask Where He Keeps the A-1…” – the horologist
· “Gives a Whole New Meaning to Meat-packing” – Gosia
· “He Said, As He Pulled Out His Penis.” – Allan
· “I Got a T-Bone in My Pocket with Your Name on It” – Marc Bernard
· “My Crotch Always Has a Chilling Effect” – Rhys Southan
· “Worst Pickup Artist Ever” – smittie
Girl: Ugh! Can I hang myself with your tie, please?
Guy: No! I love this tie!
–110th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Chrissy
Headline by: axc
Runners-Up:
· “But Here’s a Shoelace. And a Gun. And Some Pills…” – Laura
· “But I’m So Over This Kitchen Knife…” – Rod W
· “It’s Hard Getting That “Desparate Chick” Smell Out Of Your Laundry” – Dagre
· “It’s Not Like I’m Taking It with Me…” – mo
· “Lives Come and Go, But Argyle Is Forever” – Patrick
· “Use This Noose I Hate.” – pbump
Puerto Rican girl: You know what my mother always says? ‘Jesus danced, Jesus drank, or else why would we make a wine out of him?’
Haitian guy: Amen! Hallelujah!
Black girl: Jesus wanted us to get down with it.
–Brooklyn College
Headline by: jason daniel
Runners-Up:
· “Resurrection Red, Walks on Water White, or Virgin Birth Blush?” – Fred
· “Shake This, For This Is My Booty” – Meredith
· “Suffer the Blunts and 40s to Come Unto Me” – likeitornot
· “What CAN’T That Nigga Do?” – Joeritos
· “Word. (of the Lord)” – Janet E
Chick changing baby on bedding display: Do we need to buy this pillow now?
Hubby: Did he shit on it?
Chick: I don’t think.
Hubby, smelling pillow: S’all good.
Chick, holding dirty diaper and wipes: Where’s that shelf with the trash cans?
–Target, Queens
Headline by: Redneck Jedi
Runners-Up:
· “Mentioning Britney Spears Would Just Be Too Easy” – chelsea
· “Over There, Under the Security Cameras” – Katy
· “Over by That Sense Of Decency You Apparently Can’t Afford.” – Beryl
· “The New York Native Living Off The Land” – harris
· “Wait.. for the Baby or the Diaper..?” – Mike N.
· “Where Do They Think They Are? WalMart?” – Bill
Son: I wasn’t talking about drinking champagne.
Mom: You don’t know anything. You make a toast with champagne, not 40s!
–Bushwick
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Headline by: Hobo Whisperer
Runners-Up:
· “Miss Manners Said So” – John
· “Not According to “Martha Stewart’s Bronx Living”, Mom” – Gabbertoons
· “Parenting on the Rocks?” – crystal
· “Shows What You Know About the Elite and Enviable Life Of the Fratboy.” – danielle
· “Spike Lee Fights the Power” – glenntronic
Fish guy: Yeah, my dad died of colon cancer in 2001.
Blonde: Oh, how’s he doing?
–Grocery store, Astoria
Overheard by: Dustin
Headline by: Mr. Gee
Runners-Up:
· “‘Great Listener’ Is On Her Resumee” – Denny
· “Decomposing Quite Nicely, Thank You for Asking” – RBNY
· “I’d Say His Condition Is Stable” – Tadzio
· “Rolling Over About Now” – Kaitlen
· “Rotting, No Doubt” – Katy
· “Well, Mom Won’t Share a Bed with Him Anymore.” – Cassie
· “Worst Pick-up, Best Blow-off” – halfknot
