Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Hoochie: I think that’s a D-list actor!
Queer: Really? What’s his name?
Hoochie: Ummm, I don’t know. Maybe he isn’t an actor. Do I know him?
Queer: How would you know him?
Hoochie, yelling to guy: Did I give you a blow job?!
—Marie Antoinette screening, Lincoln Square theatre
Overheard by: Madame T
Chubby girl: I don’t do well with fingers in my ass, but I’m pretty good with balls in my mouth. I’ll tell you a story, but if it gets too personal just tell me to stop.
Nerdy boy: Alright.
Chubby girl: I was at Jason’s house, and, mind you, we were in an awkward position — kind of half-sitting, half-laying down — but it’s always awkward when you’re half asleep, you know? Well, we started kissing, and then my negligee fell down. It literally fell down below my breasts. And Jason was like, ‘I don’t know if I’m comfortable with your toplessness…’
–6 train
Chick pointing to friend wearing Nike Air Force Ones: Girl, I can’t believe you had rough sex in those shoes!
Guy passerby: That shit’s disgusting! That girl’s disgusting!
–42nd & Broadway
Redhead: I was so wasted that I ended up fucking this guy right on the bar. On the bar.
Brunette: You what?!
Redhead: Yeah, they told me to never, ever come back in there again.
Brunette: Holy shit.
Redhead: Oh, but it gets worse.
Brunette: How can it possibly get worse?
Redhead: He was a big, fat guy.
Brunette: You really shouldn’t do shots.
–Washington Square
Homely chick walks by in black tights and midriff-baring shirt, gut hanging out.
Construction worker #1, wide-eyed: Wow!
Construction worker #2: No! Camel toe!
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: Just going to work
Skank: So, being Mormon, you don’t have premarital sex right?
Mormon: Yeah, basically.
Skank: Oh…Nice talkin’ to ya.
Mormon’s friend: Wait! Come back!
–Libation, Ludlow & Rivington
Chick: We missed our stop.
Guy: You slept right through it.
Chick: Why didn’t you wake me up?
Guy: I tried, you wouldn’t wake up. You just showed me your pussy.
Chick: That sounds like me.
–N train
Overheard by: shewuzshaved
Skanky woman: Do I know you? You were giving me a look like you know me.
Teenage boy: No.
Teenage boy to fellow train rider: Do you have a pen?
–R train platform
Overheard by: Doc
Woman #1: I know he be my baby’s daddy.
Woman #2: Yeah? How?
Woman #1: They be lookin’ the same. He got no teeth and my baby ain’t got no teeth eitha’.
–6 train, Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: lauren
