Girl: I feel like if your vagina is wet enough, you won’t get AIDS.
–Kitchenette Uptown, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Girl: I feel like if your vagina is wet enough, you won’t get AIDS.
–Kitchenette Uptown, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Girl #1 to friends on subway: I love sitting like this, we can all see each other… It’s like…
Girl #2, almost in unison with girl #3: It’s like we’re in a circle, yeah!
Girl #3: And you’re like, like, the point!
–5 Train
Attorney: Are there any activities you were able to do prior to the accident that you can no longer do?
Witness: [Inaudible, then] Pong.
Attorney: I’m sorry, did you say, ‘beer pong’?
–Midtown law firm
Overheard by: Amused intern
Guy preaching on subway: I noticed I would always get hit on by beautiful women when I was with a woman, so I started hanging out with lesbians, and now we pick up women together.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Alexis
Panhandler going through train: God bless you, will anyone spare some money? God bless you, damm! You have a pretty white girlfriend.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jackie
Woman giving out free loot: You girls are so pretty, want some condoms?
–Grand Central Station
Hobo: Why do rich men get to marry all the pretty girls, kill them, and get away with it?
–125th St
Trashed girl, coming out of bathroom: I hate when guys say, "you're pretty enough."
–Bar 9, 54th & 9th
Overheard by: Ladle
Big slobby schlub, loudly talking to buddy: So, she was about to become another disposable pretty girl.
–W 66th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Rambling crazy man: All of you women look beautiful, but in the end, y'all still have to take a shit!
–L Train
Overheard by: The City Planner
Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi…except he probably wouldn’t want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren’t cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That’s probably why he wouldn’t have wanted to eat it.
–Columbia University
Taco Bell Lady: 1 Beef Burrito.
Customer: As in 296? Is that order 296?
Taco Bell Lady: Yeah.
Customer: Are you sure? I don’t want to take someone else’s.
Taco Bell Lady: Uh huh.
Customer [under his breath]: Do you know where you are?
–Taco Bell, West Village
Girl #1: Dreadlocks are so dirty. How do you wash them?
Girl #2: My friend told me about this guy she knew whose dreads were so dirty that one day he found a scorpion in them.
Girl #3: Are you sure it wasn’t just lice?
Girl #2: No, it was a scorpion.
Girl #4: Well, wait, where was he from?
Girls #1, #3, and #4, together: Jamaica?
–41st & Madison
Overheard by: Scorpions are creepy
Man #1: My sister just had a miscarriage.
Man #2: Oh no, that’s awful!…Well, it could have been worse; it could have been a stillbirth.
–42nd & 8th
Bus driver has huge sign pinned to his sleeve clearly reading, “Yes, I stop at Willowbrook Mall and 23 Park/Ride.”
Woman boarding bus: Do you stop at Willowbrook Mall?
–Port Authority
Latino with kid’s bike #1: Yeah, he wants to change Father’s Day to ‘Dad Gets a Free Lap Dance Day.’ And he wants to call Halloween, uh… He wants to call it… uh… Yo, why’s it called ‘Halloween,’ anyway? What the fuck is Halloween?
Latino with kid’s bike #2: ‘Cause you know the word ‘hollow,’ like a tree is hollow? You know, and pumpkins are hollow. And ‘ween’ ’cause you can wear anything you want, like women’s clothing and shit.
–Manhattan-bound L train
Overheard by: Mistah Rabbit
