Idiots

TA guy: There are different types of pains, some of which go all the way to the brain and others that only go to the spinal cord.
Ashley Olsen: So do, like, emotional pains go to the brain?

–NYU Psychology building, Washington Place

Overheard by: bvo

Guy: I need to shit.
Girl: You know, smoking will make you have to shit even more.
Guy: Yeah, I know, they’re laxatives.
Girl: They are?

–80th & 1st

Guy #1: Are you gonna go see Saw 3?
Guy #2: Nah, I’m not into movies like that.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I’m more into dramas — you know, movies where you can actually believe that what’s happening is real. Like Superman.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Don Willmott

Her: I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m not gonna eat a plate of somethin’ that looks like throw up!
Him: Well I’m gonna go inside and eat my throw up and you can wait out here or whatever, I don’t care.

–1st Ave. between 6th & 7th St.

Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen

Brunette #1 to friend: I have like no idea what's going on in the world right now. I should start watching the news.
Brunette #2: Well, I heard that Italy is becoming less popular. You know, like on the Richter scale.

–78th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Teresa

Chick #1: I’d love to go on a road trip. I haven’t been on a road trip in forever!
Chick #2: Oh, I’ve never done a road trip.
Chick #1: You’ve never been on a road trip?
Chick #2: No. I don’t ride bikes.

–53rd & Madison

Overheard by: Cindy Gordon

Woman #1: …so some asshole put what I said about my sex life on this site, OverheardInNewYork.com.
Woman #2: What’s that?
Woman #1: Some website where people put up what they overhear.
Woman #2: Oh, don’t worry, nobody probably goes to those sites anyway.
Woman #1: Yeah, you’re probably right.

–21st St. & 6th Ave.

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Pre-dad: That fuckin’ thing is getting ready to pop out next week.

–Fulton between Broadway & Center

Mailman: I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know where this package is. It was undeliverable. It is not here.
Human man: I know. This is the third time I’ve been down here. So what do you want me to do?
Mailman: Sir?
Human man: What do you want me to do? Give up, keep coming back?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: What? Give up?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: You’re serious?
Mailman: Yes.

–Post office, 34th & Lexington

Overheard by: Fish

Realtor #1: New York is a great place to move to. They say if you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere.
Realtor #2: Anthony, that’s not what they say. It goes, “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”

–2nd & Houston