Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!
–33 Washington Square West
Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!
–33 Washington Square West
Idiot: You speak European as well?
Chick: I speak… uh… I don’t know what I speak.
–East Village
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Chick on cell: Um, it’s me, and you know what? I just sent you and email that was all like, “I don’t want to think about it, I just want to blah blah blah.” I changed my mind. I do want to think about it, and you know what happens when I do? I say, ew! Yuck, yuck, yuck, ew, ew, yuck. argh! Ugh! Ugh! I’m so grossed out right now I cannot even tell you. What a fucking asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole. I hate him, I hate him. He’s a big dick. A big dick. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m walking around the streets of New York swearing, but god knows I’m not the first person. Holy shit, what a dick. Ew. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Call me back. Bye!
–Union Square
JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.
–Uptown W train
High school guy: Why they called us ‘niggers’? They wake up and say, ‘We callin ’em ‘niggers’ from now on!’ or something?
High school girl: No, idiot, ’cause they got us from the Nigger River in Africa.
–CCNY, 135th Convent Ave
Overheard by: APR 04 Alum
Guy #1: I can’t believe no one’s taking pictures of this. Doesn’t anyone have a camera?
Guy #2, pulling cell from pocket: I have a camera. It’s my cell phone.
Guy #1: Wait a minute, we all have cameras!
–Life Cafe, 10th St & Ave B
Man #1 spotting bench pressing Man #2: So, how’s the wifey?
Man #2: Oh, man, things aren’t good.
Man #1: What happened?
Man #2: Her phone went dead so she borrowed mine. It was loud at the bar, so she went into the bathroom… She read my text messages. I had been texting some girl I hooked up with.
Man #1: Delete! Dude, delete!
Man #2: I know, but I even had her under a code name, ‘Rubes,’ because I met her through Ruben!
–Gym, Midtown
Overheard by: SwrrlGurll
Girl #1: That place is so off the hook.
Girl #2: I totally need to go. What days is it open?
Girl #1: Yo, every day. Like 400 days a year.
–77th Street R station
Dude #1: Can I borrow your box cutter?
Dude #2: Oh, ’cause I’m a Puerto Rican I must have a box cutter?
Dude #1: Do you?
Dude #2: Well, yeah.
–25th & Broadway
Overheard by: Schatzie
Woman, picking up rubber ball, to employee: Oh, what can you do with this?
–Scholastic Store, Soho
Freshman girl: What do we, like, throw in the recycling bin?
–Leon M. Goldstein High School
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Woman, descending stairs onto train platform: Oh my god! Is that a train?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: curious to know what else she was expecting to see at a train station…
Random tourist to young Asian kid: Do you sell fake bags?
–Canal Street Station
Astute shopper: Do you take Duane Reade cards here?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: fellow customer
Guy on cell: Bagels with butter? Where am I gonna get that?
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: sarahjane
