Non-Ivy-Leaguer: So where do you go to school?
Ivy-Leaguer: Princeton.
Non-Ivy-Leaguer: California? That’s awesome.
–5th Ave between 26th & 27th
Overheard by: Shocked Onlooker
Non-Ivy-Leaguer: So where do you go to school?
Ivy-Leaguer: Princeton.
Non-Ivy-Leaguer: California? That’s awesome.
–5th Ave between 26th & 27th
Overheard by: Shocked Onlooker
Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Kris
Man: Hey, do you have any whistles? You know — the kind that shut people up when you blow them?
Clerk: No.
Man: Fuck!
–47th & Broadway
Guy #1: I told the manager they need to start recycling.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Cuz they don't recycle.
Guy #2: So what!?
–41st & 7th
Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!
–33 Washington Square West
Idiot: You speak European as well?
Chick: I speak… uh… I don’t know what I speak.
–East Village
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Chick on cell: Um, it’s me, and you know what? I just sent you and email that was all like, “I don’t want to think about it, I just want to blah blah blah.” I changed my mind. I do want to think about it, and you know what happens when I do? I say, ew! Yuck, yuck, yuck, ew, ew, yuck. argh! Ugh! Ugh! I’m so grossed out right now I cannot even tell you. What a fucking asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole. I hate him, I hate him. He’s a big dick. A big dick. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m walking around the streets of New York swearing, but god knows I’m not the first person. Holy shit, what a dick. Ew. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Call me back. Bye!
–Union Square
JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.
–Uptown W train
High school guy: Why they called us ‘niggers’? They wake up and say, ‘We callin ’em ‘niggers’ from now on!’ or something?
High school girl: No, idiot, ’cause they got us from the Nigger River in Africa.
–CCNY, 135th Convent Ave
Overheard by: APR 04 Alum
Guy #1: I can’t believe no one’s taking pictures of this. Doesn’t anyone have a camera?
Guy #2, pulling cell from pocket: I have a camera. It’s my cell phone.
Guy #1: Wait a minute, we all have cameras!
–Life Cafe, 10th St & Ave B
