Businesschick on cell: Awww yeah…guess who doesn’t have work today?….Awww yeah, people trying to blow up my building and shit…I think I just saw a tank driving down my street…Wait, I gotta roll, some weird number is popping up on my cellie.
–51st & 3rd
Guy: I wish they played music in these things so it wouldn’t be so awkward.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Gabe Connor
Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says “Train for jobs in biotch.”
Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?
–1 train
Overheard by: Manhattman
Woman: What’s passover again? Isn’t that supposed to be like your version of Easter?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Aaron
Woman: Can I get 2 pretzels to go?
Cart guy: To go? As opposed to what, eat in?
–Food cart, 52nd & 5th
Overheard by: Evan
Teenage girl: Biggie, 50-Cent, Jadakiss, Usher, you’re always writing all over your shit. I don’t see them writing “Phil” all over their books.
–Wadleigh High, W. 114th Street
Chick #1: Who the fuck reads books. I mean, books?
Chick #2: I read books, bitch!
–86th & Broadway
British parks guy: Yeh, fishin’ shit outta pools like this is me specialty.
Dude: Yeah, that’s great, but our frisbee is stuck in a tree.
British parks guy: Throwin’ yer frisbee at the birds, eh? You better make sure they don’t come after ye in yer dreams and peck yer fuckin’ eyes out.
–Central Park
Overheard by: NG
Guy #1: The next Pope might be black.
Guy #2: That guy’s not black. He’s African.
–Staten Island ferry
Guy: Where is the nearest subway?
Girl: We are not eating at Subway.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: Charles Star
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Trish
