Ghetto girl #1: I love guys that can saaang!
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, me too. They be marinatin’ you. That shit’s mad sexy.
Ghetto girl #1: Marinate? The fuck?! You mean ‘serenate.’ You’s a stupid-ass bitch!
–G train, Clinton-Washington station
Overheard by: all up in your grill
Lady holding child’s hand: If one more person bumps into me today I am going to fucking kill them.
Passerby: Good, lady, teach your child to be an asshole just like you.
Kid: Fuck you, asshole!
Passerby: See!
–Subway, 86th St
Little girl #1 looking at Manhattan Mini Storage poster: Do you know what ‘suburb’ means?
Little girl #2: Sunburns?
Little girl #1: Suburbs. ‘Stuck in the suburbs.’ They’re boring. See that guy in his underwear? His house is in the suburbs.
Little girl #2: Sunburns?
–N train
Overheard by: LSB
Guy: You know what? Fuck you! F-C-U… Goddammit.
Girl: That’s right, dumbass!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: laughing my ass off
Drunk girl: Happy New Year!
Long-haired child: Happy New Year!
Drunk girl: What’s your name?
Long-haired child: Slater.
Drunk girl: Slayer?
Long-haired child: Slate-er.
Drunk girl: That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
Long-haired child: I’m a boy.
–W 113th St
White teen: You’ve got a fat ass.
Black teen: Well, your ass has a stupid, scrawny bitch stuck to it.
–Times Square
Girl #1: Every time we go out she’s all like, ‘I need a boyfriend sooo bad!’ And all she does is bitch about how she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Well, it’s like, ‘Of course you don’t have a boyfriend — maybe if your blubber didn’t hang down over your jeans some guy would want you.’ No guy wants to mount a beached whale… Well, unless they’re into that kind of thing…
Girl #2: I know the perfect guy.
Girl #1: I bet he’s real hot.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: He was, like, a total dick, you know? But it’s like, he’s allowed to be, you know?
Girl #2: Well, yeah. He’s a straight NYU guy who plays soccer.
Girl #1: Yeah. So he could get away with it.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
Overheard by: not an nyu straight guy
Woman: She was a total skank.
Man: Yeah…
Woman: But still, I’m surprised she’s having a baby. Never saw it coming.
Man: Don’t think anyone did.
–Vincent’s, Mott St
