Girl #1: He was, like, a total dick, you know? But it’s like, he’s allowed to be, you know?
Girl #2: Well, yeah. He’s a straight NYU guy who plays soccer.
Girl #1: Yeah. So he could get away with it.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
Overheard by: not an nyu straight guy
Woman: She was a total skank.
Man: Yeah…
Woman: But still, I’m surprised she’s having a baby. Never saw it coming.
Man: Don’t think anyone did.
–Vincent’s, Mott St
Asian guy #1: Fucking motherfucker!
Asian guy #2: Ass-fucking mule!
Asian guy #1: Cum wad!
Asian guy #2: Asian!
Asian guy #1: Whoa, man, that’s just rude.
–Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Laura
Yuppie girl #1: Last night I actually had to tie Dave’s tie for him.
Yuppie girl #2: Dave, please be more inept.
Yuppie girl #1: I know. It’s sad. Where the fuck would guys be without us girls?
Middle-aged man: Still in the Garden of Eden, you gullible bitch.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Alex
Customer: They don’t have stars today like we had. This Britney Spears…
Owner: She’s a pig.
Customer: She’s a pig.
Owner: She’s a pig.
Customer: She’s a pig! You know what’s wrong with her? Her mother shoulda smacked her in the mouth more often.
–Pet store, 25th & 3rd, Sunset Park
Overheard by: Pippa
Clueless white lady: Oh, I wanted to see this Dave Chappelle’s Black Party— I mean, uh…
–Virgin Megastore, Union Square
White guy: I didn’t call him a monkey because he was black, I called him a monkey because he’s a fucking retard.
–Washington Square North
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Little Dominican boy to teacher: How come only black people get to be Indians?
–Plains Indians exhibit, Museum of Natural History
Old white lady trips over middle-aged white guy’s luggage: You’re just as bad as the black people!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: trying to get out of the way
Black guy to white guy in giant afro wig: Yeah, I wish I could be black.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Girl #1: So, when he was done I turned over and pressed my ‘that was easy button’ from Staples.
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, but now he won’t text me back.
–Orchard & Rivington
Overheard by: greer
Guy #1: My girlfriend is making me go see the Rachel Ray show live.
Guy #2: Why? Man, you need to put that shit to rest.
Guy #1: What does that even mean?
Guy #3: He’s saying you’re a pussy-whipped fag and that your girlfriend is a bitch.
–6 train
Overheard by: Shreve-ey-ey
Woman: Come here, sweetheart! You lousy fucking Puerto Rican scum!
–4th & MacDougal
Construction worker to another: Come here, I’ll buy you some food ’cause you’re my man. What, you want Puerto Rican food? They’ve got Puerto Rican food here.
–Burger King, 46th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Suit: Have you ever been to Croatia? They treated me like a god just for being Puerto Rican.
–M31 bus, between Madison & Lex
Dude: Nawww, don’t go to Puerto Rico. It’s just like New Jersey!
–Outside Caliente Cab Co.
Hipster guy, after hipster girl sneezes: Oh, God bless you.
Hipster girl: Don’t bless me.
Hipster guy: Fuck you, then.
–Fat Baby, Lower East Side
Overheard by: RoninTy
