Mother of Wednesday One-liners

Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space.

–83rd & Amsterdam

A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth?

–Q Train

Posted on July 8, 2014
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Parents, Questions, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

The Mother of Irony

Mom: What are you, stupid? 14 minus 34 is not 30 blocks. It’s ten!
Daughter: No it’s not.
Mom: Oh yeah, wait. It’s twenty.

–3 Train

Overheard by: Rehey11

Posted on July 7, 2014
Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Wednesday One-liners

Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch.

–DtUt, LES

Overheard by: e. glass

HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars.

–Columbus Circle

Posted on July 7, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Girls, Kids, Manhattan, One-liners, Sex & Relationships, Street

“…I’m also sacrificing you to Pazuzu, after brunch.”

The light changes. A nanny begins to walk, pushing a baby stroller. Halfway across the street, she looks down sort of lovingly, meets eyes with the baby and says with an eerily calm tone: You know I’m sacrificing my happiness for you.

The nanny looks up and keeps on walking.

–59th & 5th

Overheard by: Drone

Posted on February 12, 2014
Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Women

Some Yuppie Child You Are

Brooklyn mom: You are the only kid I have ever met who doesn't like goat cheese.
Nine-year-old: Peanut butter!

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on January 28, 2011
Brooklyn, Food, Kids, Moms, Wishes & desires

In Fairness, Jennifer Beals Still Looks Great

Mom to children: You guys look like dancers!
Little girl #1: Yeah!
Little girl #2: Yeah! Like flash dancers!
Mom: What are flash dancers?
Little girl #1: They take of their clothes and flash people!
Little girl #2: Yeah!

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on January 23, 2011
Compare/Contrast, Dancing, Kids, Moms, Weirdness, Whole Foods

Now Explain Tobago, Smartypants.

Little boy in a bodega to mom: Why do you have to be eighteen to buy tobacco? It's just a sauce!
Mom: No, sweetie, that's tabasco.
Little boy: Ohhhhhhhh.
Mom: Makes sense, ya?

–9th St & Ave A

Overheard by: hottamali

Posted on January 2, 2011
Age/Aging, Kids, Moms, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Words

From the Little-seen Christmas Special Are You Racist, Charlie Brown?

Five-year-old black girl: Let's play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Something brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We're black, stupid!

–Waiting Room, Eye & Ear Hospital