Son: Is rain alien acid or regular acid?
Mom: Regular acid.
–43 Street & 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Ethan Knecht
Son: Is rain alien acid or regular acid?
Mom: Regular acid.
–43 Street & 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Ethan Knecht
12 year old chick: You see? I told you! This is how the grown-ups dress.
–East Village
Teen subway dancer: Why you opening your mouth? No one’s talking to you.
Kid subway dancer: That’s why I got a mouth. So I can talk.
Teen subway dancer: I don’t like nosey niggers.
Kid subway dancer: At least I don’t sleep outside!
–D Train
Black kid: Miss, buy some candy to support my school’s basketball team.
Indian woman: No thank you.
Black kid: Man, you people don’t buy nothing. But you sure speak good English.
–40th St. & Lex.
Little Girl: Mommy, why do people in New York always wear black?
Mommy: I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t like looking pretty.
–Upper East Side
Hipster chick: Ugh, dolls. Dolls are so creepy. I’m never letting my kid have a doll. Drugs, yes. Dolls, no.
–UES
A driver almost runs over a kid.
Driver: Look at the light! Look at the light!
Kid: Look at the street!
Driver: Go back to Russia, you fuck!
–Bensonhurst
Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch!
–Canal Street
Overheard by: Jonathan Harris
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space.
–83rd & Amsterdam
A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth?
–Q Train
Mom: What are you, stupid? 14 minus 34 is not 30 blocks. It’s ten!
Daughter: No it’s not.
Mom: Oh yeah, wait. It’s twenty.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Rehey11
