Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Boy: What?
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Boy: What?
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables.
–D Train
12-year-old boy: I don’t know why people would pay $2 for a bottle of water. You know, EVIAN spelt backwards is N-A-I-V-E.
— To his friend, in Prospect Park
Waitress: Hello. How can I help you?
Kid: I wanna buy some sushi.
Waitress: You want to buy some sushi? What kind of sushi would you like?
Kid: I don’t know.
–Wasabi Sushi, Bensonhurst
Crying Little Girl: My feet are cold!
The Baby’s Daddy: You’ve got to let them warm up and thaw.
Crying Little Girl: They’re really cold!
The Baby’s Daddy: They’ll be warm in a minute.
Crying Little Girl: My feet are cold!
The Baby’s Daddy: Shut up! Shut up! Stop crying! Do you want me to kick your ass in front of everybody on the train? Your feet are gonna be cold but your ass is gonna be hot!
–W Train
Young Son: Is there a Mars eclipse, too?
Father: There’s no Mars eclipse, there’s Marzipan, but no Mars eclipse.
–Watching the eclipse, West Village
Son: Is rain alien acid or regular acid?
Mom: Regular acid.
–43 Street & 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Ethan Knecht
12 year old chick: You see? I told you! This is how the grown-ups dress.
–East Village
Teen subway dancer: Why you opening your mouth? No one’s talking to you.
Kid subway dancer: That’s why I got a mouth. So I can talk.
Teen subway dancer: I don’t like nosey niggers.
Kid subway dancer: At least I don’t sleep outside!
–D Train
Black kid: Miss, buy some candy to support my school’s basketball team.
Indian woman: No thank you.
Black kid: Man, you people don’t buy nothing. But you sure speak good English.
–40th St. & Lex.
