Man #1 eating ice cream: Man, this tastes just like pussy.
Man #2: Shit, son… Share!
–42nd & 7th
Man #1 eating ice cream: Man, this tastes just like pussy.
Man #2: Shit, son… Share!
–42nd & 7th
Girl holding tally sheet: Do you want to stick this in my thinger?
Male coworker: You’re lucky it’s me. In the real world–
Girl holding tally sheet: –In the real world people wouldn’t take it there.
–NYU SCPS
Overheard by: she’s lucky i’m gay
Man #1: Have you ever tasted Bitter Melon?
Man #2: Yeah, and it tastes exactly like shit.
Man #1: How do you know what shit tastes like?
Man #2, motions head towards wife: From licking her ass.
–Wo Hop, 17 Mott St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Man #1: Cops can get away with anything these days.
Man #2: Yeah, they could rape a raccoon if they wanted to.
–Central Park
Overheard by: raccoon assaulter
Man with camera: How about one with the Statue of Liberty in the back?
Man being photographed: You don’t want one with the Manhattan skyline?
Man with camera: No, you tourist!
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
Overheard by: Rob M
Lady suit: Man, I love cheese. You know what I wish I had? A pillow made of cheese. That way I can eat cheese when I’m awake and when I sleep. I can, like, chew on my pillow and I’ll truly be eating cheese 24/7. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Male suit: Mmm, yes.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: drew roddy
Man #1: Do you think in a past life you were a lemon?
Man #2: Why do you ask?
Man #1: I was just wondering…
–Starbucks
Man #1: How was last night?
Man #2: I shot so much cum in her mouth it looked like her teeth were melting.
Man #1: Okay.
–Queens Library
Little girl: I’m annoying, right? I’m annoying you, right Tío?
Uncle: Yes, you’re annoying.
–6 train
Metrosexual: Do you think she’s a Volvic kind of girl or more of a Poland Spring or Crystal Geyser?
Girlfriend: Ummm, I see her as a Volvic… Maybe not.
Metrosexual: I think I’ll go with Poland Spring. I hope she likes it.
Girlfriend: I hope you’re right.
–Deli, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Maybe she likes the Hudson…
