Angry, sweaty man pushing through crowd: Come on, move in! There’s a lot of room in the middle!
Calm man: There’s also a lot of dreams in this world.
–2 train, 34th St
Overheard by: mf
Headline by: CVK
Runners-Up:
· “The Buddha Grows Up” – Barry P.
· “Both Require That Someone Else Gives a Fuck” – Rick Felice
· “Crowds to the Left Of Me, Dreamers to the Right, Here I Am” – Golf Widow
· “The Alternative Martin Luther King Speech” – Peter Madsen
· “Well, Get Them the Hell Out Of My Way!” – Jo
Lady: What are you doing today?
Man: Nothing.
Lady, suddenly excited: By the way, do you do laundry?
Man: Yeah, why?
Lady: Well, I never heard you talking about doing your laundry before.
Man: Okay… Why would I want to talk about doing my laundry? [Rolls his eyes.]Lady, embarrassed: I hate when you’re right.
–D train
Overheard by: Ana
45-year-old man: … And since I’m on my way to a business meeting, this drink I just bought you is tax deductible.
College girl: Well, that’s nice, I guess.
45-year-old man: Yeah, you’ve got a big butt and you’re tax deductible. That’s how I like them.
–Coffee Shop Bar, 14th St
Headline by: Snark Sloper
Runners-Up:
· “Accountant Pickup Line #65337-2366-26637-1” – Works For Me
· “Baby Got Back. — Cf, Form 1040 Schedule C Line 27” – chris
· “Monica Lewinsky: This Sounds Familiar…” – D. Kareem
· “Until She Capital Gains All That Weight” – Vasyl
Man #1 eating ice cream: Man, this tastes just like pussy.
Man #2: Shit, son… Share!
–42nd & 7th
Girl holding tally sheet: Do you want to stick this in my thinger?
Male coworker: You’re lucky it’s me. In the real world–
Girl holding tally sheet: –In the real world people wouldn’t take it there.
–NYU SCPS
Overheard by: she’s lucky i’m gay
Man #1: Have you ever tasted Bitter Melon?
Man #2: Yeah, and it tastes exactly like shit.
Man #1: How do you know what shit tastes like?
Man #2, motions head towards wife: From licking her ass.
–Wo Hop, 17 Mott St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Man #1: Cops can get away with anything these days.
Man #2: Yeah, they could rape a raccoon if they wanted to.
–Central Park
Overheard by: raccoon assaulter
Man with camera: How about one with the Statue of Liberty in the back?
Man being photographed: You don’t want one with the Manhattan skyline?
Man with camera: No, you tourist!
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
Overheard by: Rob M
Lady suit: Man, I love cheese. You know what I wish I had? A pillow made of cheese. That way I can eat cheese when I’m awake and when I sleep. I can, like, chew on my pillow and I’ll truly be eating cheese 24/7. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Male suit: Mmm, yes.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: drew roddy
Man #1: Do you think in a past life you were a lemon?
Man #2: Why do you ask?
Man #1: I was just wondering…
–Starbucks
