Guy #1: So, is that Central Park over there? [points to a particularily wooded area across 6th avenue]
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: So then it’s Union Square, right?
Guy #2: Nope, it’s neither.
Guy #1: So basically, those are just a bunch of trees?
Guy #2: Yup.
–MacDougal & Bleecker
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Guido: Hey you talk to me like that again, and I’ll talk to my people, who’ll talk to your people. And I’ll have you buried under Yankee Stadium with JFK.
Other guy: Don’t you mean under Giants Stadium with Jimmy Hoffa?
Guido: Whatever!
–Madison Square Garden
Little boy #1: Do you live on the Upper West Side?
Little boy #2: Well, technically yes and technically no.
Little boy #1: Okay, see you tomorrow.
–85th & Amsterdam
Teacher guy: You guys know that clock in Union Square that goes
backwards, right?
Teen girl: But why does it change?
–Midwood High School
Tourist lady: Excuse me, can you tell me which way Times Square is?
Guy: Um…really? Turn around lady.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Gregory
Promoter guy: This your first time at the Empire State Building?
Dude: Yeah, it is.
Promoter guy: Cool. Where are you from?
Dude: Native New Yorker.
Promoter guy: I don’t want to talk to you.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Tourist lady #1: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to the corner of Madison and Park?
Man: No such place. See, those streets run–
Tourist lady #2: Oh, he doesn’t know. We just came from there, so let’s just go back the way we came.
–34th & Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
Woman #1: Excuse me, how do I walk to the other side of the Brooklyn Bridge?
Woman #2: Just do it.
–Downtown Brooklyn
