Man: Wait, so you’re on Law & Order?
Epatha Merkerson: Mm-hmm.
Man: Wow, I don’t watch the show, but my son and daughter do. What’s your name? I’ll have to tell them I saw you.
Epatha Merkerson: Epatha.
Man: Epala?
Epatha Merkerson: Epatha.
Man: Epasa?
Epatha Merkerson: E-path-a
Man: Ensala? Maybe I should write this down, I’m sure I’ll forget. Emana, you said?
–Dentist’s office, 35th & Madison
Overheard by: Mandy G
Lady lawyer: You look like a lot of my cousins, you know.
Boy attorney #1: Are they models?
Boy attorney #2: Yeah, leg brace models!
–Office, 45th & 5th
Manager guy: You looking for the perfect bag now?
Director lady: There’s nothing festive. I don’t want to be seen walking with a Duane Reade bag. It screams beggar.
–Office, 39th between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Frank I
Girl: I can’t get food for you guys tomorrow. I have school. I am not
leaving school just to come here and get food for all of us.
Guy: You know education isn’t going to feed you.
Girl: That’s funny, because my boyfriend said to me last night that
education wasn’t going to get me married.
–Office, Old Slip & South
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don’t like about monkeys is their butts.
–Office, East 45th Street
Guy: You’re how old? 27? Wow, I’m old.
Chick: Why, how old are you?
Guy: 35. If this was 1000 years ago, I’d be dead by now.
–Office, 51st & Park
Overheard by: Shannon
Office girl: So if you’re Bonnie, then who’s your Clyde?
Boss guy: I’m so not the femme.
Office girl: Totally.
Boss guy: I need a guy a little more faggy than me but not like, say, Tom Cruisey or Richard Simmonsy.
Office girl: Wait, who’s more faggy than Richard Simmons?
–Office, West 52nd Street
Overheard by: GeeGoo
Black chick: …I will never work with her again. She told me, “you people” mess everything up.
She leaves.
White chick #1: Yeah, did she tell you about the designer that was racist to her?
White chick #2: No! That’s so rude.
White chick #1: Yeah, I know. Even though she makes it kind of easy to be racist, that is so fucked up!
–Office ladies’ room, 39th & 7th
White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.
–Office, Park Avenue
Overheard by: Peasant
Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!
–18th & 7th
Overheard by: A & J
