Black chick #1: So I got my nipples pierced.
Black chick #2: No way! Let me see!
Black chick #1: Not on the train!
Black chick #2: It’s not like I haven’t seen them before. Remember at Rashon’s party, where you pulled a Janet Jackson?
–Brooklyn bound F train
Overheard by: Scott
Boy 1: Hey, what was that Exodus story about the burning bush? You know, didn’t God give him something?
Boy 2: Yeah, God gave him the holy weed, and he smoked it.
–F train
Overheard by: Fareeda
Goth chick: That guy missed his train.
Goth dude: Yeah.
Goth chick: Life sucks.
Goth dude: Word.
Goth chick: Wanna go to McDonalds?
–F train
Overheard by: Mike N
Guy #1: So my roommate keeps kosher.
Guy #2: Dude, that’s awesome.
Guy #1: Why is that awesome?
Friend: ‘Cause you now have intricate, firsthand knowledge of the best pastrami sandwiches this side of Park. In fact, I think you should call him right now. I want a knish.
–6 train
Overheard by: Not to mention the best lawyers, doctors, sch
White lady, surrounded by "Save Darfur" ralliers: Who’s Darfur?
Husband: Well, I don’t know, but whoever he is, he sure is in a lot of trouble.
–6 train
Overheard by: Jill Benson
Young boy, singing: I love you! You love me! We’re as happy as two can be!
Mother: I’ll show you how much I fucking love you!
–D train, Fordham Rd
Overheard by: horrified
Conductor: Last stop, Grand Central Terminal. Remember, don’t drink and drive, but if you are going to take the train, drink ’til you go blind. Have a nice evening.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. Next stop, uh… Franklin… naw, that’s not it. Well, let’s go.
–Brooklyn bound R train
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Conductor, to woman standing halfway in the motorman’s booth flirting with him: Wanna drive?
–7 train
Overheard by: Margarita
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is not roll call. This is not Mickey Mouse roll call. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–4 train, Wall St
Overheard by: Pandora
Conductor: Please step in and watch the closing doors… Sir. Move your stuff out of the doors so I can close them! Motherfucker gonna make me late… gonna make us all late!
–Queens bound R train
Overheard by: Jay Kay
Conductor: We are now approaching 161st Street, Yankee Stadium. If you’re not getting off here, you should. Go see the second half of the Boston Massacre. Have a good day.
–Uptown 4 train
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Conductor: There is no V train service on the weekends. Get on this train. I repeat, there is no V train service on the weekends. What are you waiting for? Just get on my train!
–Downtown E train
Overheard by: tyler ann
Guy accepting donations: Help feed the homeless! Even terrorists can help feed the homeless!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: sugar ray mcgrath
Hobo: If you see an unattended bag or package, please report it to the nearest New York Police Officer or MTA worker. If one is not around, tell me. I’ll open that shit up.
–4 train, Fulton St
Overheard by: Laura
Hobo, to tourist family taking group photo: Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!
–C Train, 72nd St
Overheard by: Barry P.
British tourist: But there were two Empire State buildings, right? That fell?
–WTC site
Overheard by: J Bird
Girl: Last night, I was so drunk I forgot about 9/11.
–NYU
Overheard by: Bronwyn
Lady to nervous woman: Can I ask you a question? I ain’t a terrorist or nothin’. I’m from New Haven.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fudd
British bloke: You mean they don’t have any missiles here, in Manhattan?
–Grand & Broadway
Overheard by: jcm
Man, boarding downtown E: This is the downtown E?
Woman: Yes.
Man: You sure?
Woman: I’m positive.
Man: Aight, ’cause if those numbers start gettin’ bigger, yo head gonna get bigger, bitch.
–E train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Ivan
Woman: Do you know what time it is?
Japanese tourist: Yes.
–S train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Tarzan
