Old lady #1: I have this paperwork that I need to fill out for my doctor and it asks if I’m allergic to any medications. Can I put down penicillin?
Old lady #2: No one is allergic to penicillin! How did you have an allergic reaction to it?
Old lady #1: Well, it gave me a yeast infection.
–6 train
Overheard by: Crystal Rodriguez
Teen boy #1: I’m starving. If I had three wishes, I’d ask for three David’s bagels.
Teen boy #2: Why not just use one wish and ask for three bagels?
–A train
Overheard by: Jarett Wieselman
Woman: I’m pretty sure that the guy standing next to the door is smoking weed right now.
Man: I’ll give up my seat if I can have a hit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Laurel Moeslein
Guy #1: He sucks, though I don’t want him working there with me.
Guy #2: Why does he suck? Is he slow at washing dishes or something?
Guy #1: Yeah, he takes forever. All I do is throw them in the water, skeet on ’em and put them in the drying rack.
–L train
Little girl: What I don’t get is why Majestic stabbed Fifty. He already shot him like 9 times.
Little boy: Majestic didn’t stab Fifty! He got his boy to stab Fifty for him, and he did it because Fifty was still alive.
Little girl: I couldn’t survive 9 shots. I could barely survive a half.
–1 train
Conductor: Chambers Street-World Trade Center will be the next and last stop on this train.
Man: Can’t be next and last stop. Either it’s the next stop or the last stop!
–E train
Overheard by: Alan H.
Guy #1: Gosh, I can’t just live here and not have a job.
Guy #2: Well, Columbus survived when he settled here.
–4 train
Overheard by: jeremy kirkland
Dude: Are you suggesting MacGyver is my penis?
–F train
Overheard by: Giovanni Diaz
Teen boy #1: So I gotta go home, change, and then meet her and go to church.
Teen boy #2: Who the hell goes to church on a Friday night? How often do you go to church?
Teen boy #1: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays…sometimes Sundays.
Teen boy #2: Damn dude, when are you gonna have time to lose your virginity, dude?
Teen boy #1: That’s what I’m working on, man!
–F train
Overheard by: Geisa
Girl: So, I was thinking we could have a hick themed Thanksgiving.
Guy: What does that even mean?
Girl: You know, we could drink bad beer, and eat gross deep-fried food, and, like, rent hick movies and stuff.
Guy: “Hick movies”?
Girl: You know, like that Nicolas Cage movie where he lives in a trailer park, or that Hilary Swank movie where she’s, like, a lesbian and stuff. Those are pretty hick.
Guy: That movie is about rape, and discrimination.
Girl: It’ll be really fun.
–A train
