Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop…
–6 Train
Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop…
–6 Train
Suit, after losing a sleeve button on escalator: Oh, motherfucker!
Pre-recorded service announcement: Have a nice day!
Suit: Yeah, fuck you too.
–E Train
Tourist lady, excitedly: I just met my first rude person in this city!
–Serendipity, E 60th St
Girl #1: Why does it seem like everyone in California gets married so young?
Girl #2: Because they're all hippie and happy and love each other and stuff… That's why we moved to New York.
–Lafayette & Houston
Tour bus driver to pedestrian: Take the great New York tour!
Man: Why the fuck would I pay to see the rats and piss I can see for free? Fuck you!
–Outside Plaza Hotel, Central Park South
Cop: Move it along, bub.
Hobo: What? I don’t wanna move, I’m sleeping here.
Cop: I said move it, buddy.
Hobo: Why? I’m not bothering anyone, can I please stay, please, please?
Cop: OK, fine. Stay.
Hobo: I love you.
–Bay Ridge
Overheard by: C. Depp
Old man: It takes a student of human nature. You have to talk to people. You never know what it is you are talking to. You never know if that person just crawled out of a sewer.
–Elevator, Hudson & Broome
Overheard by: Rick Felice
Young Woman: The thing I like about New York is that going out doesn’t have to involve drinking.
–Williamsburg Cafe
Straight guy: Shit! They’re closed. There’s no way I’ll be able to buy a dildo this late at night.
Guy walking by: Dude, in this city you can definitely find a dildo this late at night.
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jesse D
Bus driver: The next stop on this bus is Fifth Avenue. Please have your passports ready!
–M79 bus
Bus driver: This is the Manhattan number one bus. Destination: San Juan, Puerto Rico.
–M1 bus
Bus driver: East Tremont Avenue, transfer to the 40 and 42… Put on those running shoes, there’s the 40 now!
–Fordham-bound Bx22 bus
Overheard by: Black Knight
Bus driver: Okay, now everyone move to the right side of the bus. We’re running on three wheels today, and we have to stay balanced.
–M14 bus
Overheard by: Almost moved to the other side of the bus
Bus driver: To your right you’ll see a bronze statue of Adam Clayton Powell, first black member of Congress… Looks like he’s runnin’ from the cops.
–125th & Adam Clayton Powell Blvd
Overheard by: sueinthecity
Bus driver, about jackhammers outside: Do you hear that, people? That’s the sound of real labor! [Plays the sound of the jackhammers on the intercom] Embrace it!
–Q88 bus
