Old Drunk: Did you hear about the guy that shot the judge in Atlanta? Well, they caught him. You know how? After he shot the judge, he ran over to Graceland, where Michael Jackson lives, and he shot Michael Jackson in the leg. That is why Michael Jackson is walking around in his pajamas all the time, because his leg hurts and he can’t get dressed.
–N train
Overheard by: AG
Two strangers, a nerdy out-of-town businessman & a native NYC businesswoman, step onto the 6 train mid-argument. Profanities are flying out of the NYer’s mouth rapidly and with great force. The nerdy out-of-town businessman throws his harshest punch back: Why don’t you go wash your mouth out with soap?!
NYC businesswoman: Oh…why don’t you go fuck yourself?
–6 train
Overheard by: amy
Girl on cell: Like, everything’s orange. It’s so weird.
–The Gates
Sarcastic old man: Oh, excuse me. I’ll move so you can get a picture of this pole. A magnificent work of art!
–The Gates
New Yorker: You drove like a maniac. Do you have any idea what the speed limit is in New York?
Cabbie: Cab drivers do not have speed limits in New York.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Peter
The cashier hands coupon back to customer.
Customer #1: So the coupon is expired? What does that mean? It’s no good?
Customer #2 tells her friend: We should soooo submit this to Overheard.
–Staples, 6th & 23rd
Overheard by: Customer #3, submitting this in case #2 never got around to it.
Queer on cell: You want me to plan something seasonal? In New York City? You mean, like drinking pumpkin lattes in Starbucks?
–E 78th & York
Overheard by: Hollie G.
Hippie hobo: Man, look at those guys out there, working in the tunnels with all that shit. I’d rather be a park ranger, man. Watch me go get another picnic basket! [Pause] God, get me out of this fucking city. New York sucks. I just want to build a tree house.
–Uptown 1 train
Guy to car that nearly hits him as he crosses street against the light: Fuck you! Welcome to New York!
–19th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Ghetto chick: You got a homeless guy blowing kisses at you. You’re a real New Yorker now.
–58th & 8th
Tourist dad to young daughter after seeing two hobos: It’s a New York City thing, honey.
–R train
Woman on cell: I’m walking in an urban landscape. I said I’m walking in an urban landscape!
–78th & Park Ave
Conductor: If you step out of the door, the rest of New York can keep going.
–1 train
Overheard by: Xavier
(three men hail a taxi and get in)
Girl: Hey, I was over there waiting for a long time. May I have your cab?
Guy #1: Are you serious?
Girl: Yes, I was on the other corner, waiting.
Guy #2 (laughing in her face): Are you fucking serious, lady?
Girl: Buy I was on the other corner waiting for a long time.
Guy #3: Oh, well! You were on the other corner, kiddo. Get more aggressive.
Girl: But guys… I was waiting…
Guy #1 (as taxi leaves): Courtesy, bitch.
–14th & 2nd
Overheard by: Luke
Well-dressed young black guy: Excuse me sir, do you happen to have a cigarette?
Surfer guy: Motherfucker, you’re in New York City. Of course I have a cigarette.
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: rpk
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz.
–B48 bus
Crazy lady at crosswalk: I am a professional jaywalker! If you jaywalk, I will give you a ticket! If you don't, I will not!
Young black woman: Yo! Being who I am, I will bop you on the head.
–E 124th St & Lexington
Overheard by: waitingforthefight
