Little girl: Mommy, what’s this?
Mom: Japanese art. You know, like in Mulan.
–The Met
Little girl: Mommy, what’s this?
Mom: Japanese art. You know, like in Mulan.
–The Met
Dad: Don’t wipe your hands on me! What’s wrong with you? Megan’s father only got 25 years after she went missing! And it’s not like I’m in a rush to get home to your mother!
Little boy: What?
Dad: …That was a messed-up thing to say, wasn’t it?!
–L train
Dad: You see that? Isn’t that beautiful?
Little boy: No. It’s stupid.
Dad: Huh? Come here, sit down. Don’t ever say something like that, okay? You know what happens when you say that’s stupid?
He slaps him lightly on the wrists.
Dad: You don’t want that, do you? Go look at it again and tell me what you see…Well, what do you see?…Is it beautiful?
Little boy: Yeah.
Dad: Okay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: David D.
Guy #1: Hey. Do you want some blow?
Guy #2: Um, excuse me, but that’s my dad.
Guy #1: Oh. Sorry…Whatever. I meant blowjob.
–Spirit, West 27th Street
Overheard by: e jack
Mother: I’m pretty thirsty, honey. Are you thirsty?
Little girl: I’m not thirsty. I’m thirsty for toys!
–Museum of Natural History
Dad: Could you tell me where the auditorium is?
Security guy: It’s on the second floor.
Dad: Wait, you mean it’s actually in the building?
–Hunter College High School, 94th & Park
Girl: But, I mean, it’s not like I ever plan on giving birth.
Guy: Well, if your mother gave birth, it’s like your chances are good that you’ll give birth too.
Girl: …Uh, dude, your mother gave birth.
Guy: Absolutely.
–Park Slope
Guy #1: I don’t mind getting old; I love getting old.
Guy #2: Yeah, just as long as you don’t get pregnant.
–Grove & Bleecker
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I ran away once, ’cause like, my parents were making me study for a science test.
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, you so don’t have any problems. My parents are making me get a job!
Teen boy: Not having money to buy food is a problem. Not having an apartment is a problem.
–F train
Woman: I mean, what kind of person marches their daughter into their sixth grade class and announces that their daughter just ate a whole chicken? Who does that? I never forgave her for that.
–Nails & More, Broadway between 98th & 99th
Overheard by: Jennifer Anderson
Dad: Did you bring your book?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Dad: Oh good; that way we don’t have to talk.
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Overheard by: Bethany Murphy
Shopgirl #1: I can’t believe she’s in love with a guy who’s 26.
Shopgirl #2: Well, my dad couldn’t say anything if I went out with a guy who’s 28 even, ’cause he married someone like 20 years younger than him.
Shopgirl #1: Wow, is she a hottie?
Shopgirl #2: She’s a lawyer, so she can’t be.
–4 Play BK, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
