Girl: But, I mean, it’s not like I ever plan on giving birth.
Guy: Well, if your mother gave birth, it’s like your chances are good that you’ll give birth too.
Girl: …Uh, dude, your mother gave birth.
Guy: Absolutely.
–Park Slope
Guy #1: I don’t mind getting old; I love getting old.
Guy #2: Yeah, just as long as you don’t get pregnant.
–Grove & Bleecker
Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I’ll buy you a drink.
Sober girl: No, thanks. There’s a five dollar cover.
Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I’ll give you five dollars.
Sober girl: I don’t dance.
Drunk guy: I think you’re hot.
Sober girl: I’m sorry…Watch out. You’re setting yourself on fire.
Drunk guy: I’m on fire for you, baby!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: djlindee
Shopgirl #1: I can’t believe she’s in love with a guy who’s 26.
Shopgirl #2: Well, my dad couldn’t say anything if I went out with a guy who’s 28 even, ’cause he married someone like 20 years younger than him.
Shopgirl #1: Wow, is she a hottie?
Shopgirl #2: She’s a lawyer, so she can’t be.
–4 Play BK, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Girl: We were in the middle of having sex, and I was screaming, like, “Oh god, oh god.” He looked down at me and replied, “There is no God. I am your God.”
Guy: Uh huh.
Girl: It sucks because since then I haven’t been able to sleep with atheists. You’re not an atheist, are you?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sabrina
Bartender dude: You gave up?
Guy: Yeah.
Bartender dude: I never give up. Even if I know I’m gonna lose, I’ll take you down with me.
Girl: A war of attrition.
Bartender dude: No, more like 69.
–Patio Lounge, Park Slope
Girl #1: You and Lori are friends, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess. Why?
Girl #1: Curious. Did you guys talk about the guy she’s dating at all?
Girl #2: Nope. It’s hard to get past conversations that don’t have her sucking my dick. Ha, ha! Sorry.
Girl #1: Wait, what? Confused.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ilysse Weise
Dad: Okay, pose for a picture honey! Hold your drink up!…Okay honey, look at the camera.
Little girl: But the sun is in my eyes.
Dad: Just look at the camera and I’ll take your picture…Look into the camera, honey!
Little girl: The sun hurts my eyes!
Dad: Just look into the camera really quick and I’ll take the picture.
She does, with great discomfort. He takes a picture after about 15 seconds.
Dad: That was awful.
–Park Slope
Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!
–Park Slope
Hobo: You got some nice skin.
Girl: Thanks.
Hobo: So you must masturbate yourself like all the time then, huh?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: still laughing
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
