Orthodox Mormons Have All the Fun

Guy on cell: Hello?…What do you mean you have bad news?…You’re pregnant? How could you be pregnant?…I thought you were on the Pill? How did this happen?!…I just got engaged to your sister on the 4th of July…This is really bad news…How long have you known?…A week?! Why did you wait a week to tell me?…Your sister is going to go through the roof…No, she doesn’t come back until Monday…So, I’ll see you tonight?…I told you, I just got engaged to your sister. You can’t be pregnant…Okay, have a good afternoon.

He makes another call.

Guy on cell: Hey…You know Claire*?…Yeah, Lauren’s* sister…Yeah, the hot one…Well, she’s pregnant…Me!

–46th between 5th & 6th

Posted on November 14, 2014
Anger Management, Assholes, Booty Call, Dads, Families, Marriage, On Cell, People, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Should've Used a Condom, Three is Company

He’s Still at HIV

Girl, 9: Is that your ADD talking?
Boy, 9: What? I don’t have that disease!
Girl, 9: A-D-D doesn’t spell AIDS!

–1/9 train

Overheard by: Nicole A.

Posted on October 31, 2014
AIDS, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Kids, On the Subway, People, Places, Topics

You’ve Come a Long Way, Biotech

Woman #1: You blew that smoke right in my face!
Woman #2: I don’t control the wind, bitch!

–46th & Vanderbilt

Overheard by: whirlygurly

Posted on October 29, 2014
Biotechs, People, Smokers & Smoking

Manners Third

‘That Guy’, after proposing during the game, is standing and hugging his fiancee.

Yankee fan: What are we doing, playing baseball or getting married? Yankees first, wife second! Now sit the fuck down.

–Section 18, Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on October 29, 2014
Assholes, Etiquette, Marriage, Only in New York, People, Places, Sex & Relationships, Sports, The Bronx, Topics, Yankee Stadium, Yankees

And Start Smelling Me, So I Don’t Have to Shower Later

Woman: You shouldn’t smell all of those. It’s not nice to the people that will buy them. Besides, you’re not even buying one.
Girl: What makes you think I’m not buying one?
Woman: It’s just not nice for you to smell them, is all I’m saying.
Girl: What, I’m going to use up all the smell? Just stop talking to me.

–Candle section, Kmart, Penn Station

Overheard by: kier

Posted on October 27, 2014
Advice, Biotechs, Etiquette, Penn Station, People, Shopping

In the Winter She Smells Like Yellow Snow

Little kid to mom: You smell!
Mom: Yeah, that’s New York in the summer.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Cody

Posted on October 24, 2014
Kids, Moms, Only in New York, Penn Station, People, Places, Should've Used a Condom

So You Can’t Even Tell Them From Americans Anymore

Teenage girl: I really admire immigrants…even though most of them are criminals.

–Times Square

Overheard by: intern

Posted on October 23, 2014
Crime and Punishment, Foreigners, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, People, Places, Teens, Times Square, Topics

They’re Gonna Sue Mom for Alimony

Mom: How much is it?
Chick: A hundred and fifty bucks.
Mom: Let me pay.
Chick: Mom! No! Don’t give me any goddamn money!
Mom: Here, just take it, dammit!
Chick: Fine, but I’m paying for the taxi home.
Mom: I can’t believe Michael puts up with you. You are so divorced in
five years.

–The Gap, 18th & 5th

Posted on October 17, 2014
Friendship, Money & Class, Parents, People, Relationships, Shopping

Wednesday One-liners Watch VH1

Drunk guy: You’re not the boss of me…Bruce Springsteen is the boss of me.

–The Red Lion, Bleecker Street

Guy: Seriously. Puff’s attorney called me the other day to say Puff wants me to sign a confidentiality agreement. Puff doesn’t want me to disclose that he is the seller. I said to tell Puff that he’s the one who has to sign a confidentiality agreement. If the boys at Goldman find out who I am buying from, my credibility is going to be shot forever.

–Anotheroom, West Broadway

Overheard by: Big Lex

Paralegal lady on phone: And I thought to myself, “She looks so familiar, who is she?” Queen Latifah’s mother!…No, mangos.

–Office, 50th & 6th

Girl: Well, if he’s cranking the bass on a Dixie Chicks song at 2AM on a Monday at a bear bar to sell beer to lesbians he has much bigger problems than he knows.

–The Dugout, Christopher Street

Chick: If we see Robbie Williams tonight, I’m gonna die.

–30th & Park

Hipster guy: Yeah and what’s with Simon Cowell? That guy is like the Grinch Who Stole Everything Else.

–Abbey Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Spyridon Panousopoulos

Guy: You know you have reached the lowest point of all human existence when there’s a telethon featuring only John Denver music.

–2nd between A & B

Overheard by: djlindee

Guy: God, I love going to Galapagos. You always run into all the right people there. You know, all the people that you haven’t seen since that last Yeah Yeah Yeahs show?

–L train

Overheard by: Shannon

Woman on cell: Remember that handsome lawyer who took me out to dinner the other night? Yeah, well, he gave me an STD. It reminded me of a song.

–14th & 6th

Professor guy: Billy Joel, wow. He’s got about 10 shows coming up. I bet the stage production budget is through the roof. I’d drive a car onto stage…and smash it into a tree.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Woman: Brian Wilson beat me right the hell up right there; right the hell up!

–43rd between 8th & 9th

Overheard by: Ryan Duncan

Old woman: Oh, is Lil’ Kim in jail?

–7th & Bleecker

Overheard by: Sarah Doogs

Dude: I was listening to a DMX record the other day, and if that
guy’s telling the truth, he’s lived quite a life.

–Gee Whiz Restaurant, Greenwich Street

Overheard by: Matthew Alhonte

Asian guy: The time has come fo’ mad hip-hop.

–Go Sushi, St. Marks Place

Overheard by: Alyson Leigh

Crazy lady: Excuse me…Excuse me…Have you heard of a band called “The Diarrheas”? From Washington, DC! With Hillary and…Chuck! Like from Friday the 13th? Do you think they’ll be successful?

–11th between 52nd & 53rd

Third floor window guy: Hey fuck you, I don’t need you telling me that you are cooler than me, I saw the Ramones in ’83!…Fuck you, your not cooler than me, I saw Fugazi’s first show, I saw Minor Threat. What is your fucking claim to fame, seeing the White Stripes?

–Rivington & Stanton