Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor.
–47th & 9th
Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Max T-M
MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first.
–MTV cafeteria
Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6-foot pet!
–1 train
Overheard by: spike
Girl: The other day I saw a homeless guy masturbating in Union Square Park.
Guy: Well, where else was he going to do it?
–Third Avenue North Residence, 3rd Avenue
Teen girl #1: Cashmere is God’s gift to the human race!
Teen girl #2: Well, the part of the human race that can afford it.
–Macy’s, West 34th Street
Girl: I’m going to do voodoo on her.
Guy: Is she black?
Girl: Yeah. The thing is that whatever you do comes back three times against you, so I’m going to have to do santeria to take it off.
–W Train
Chick: Don’t get too close to Paul because if he busts ass it’s going to smell like Y2K!
–9th Street & 6th Avenue
White guy: So, do you have any plans for this evening?
Asian girl: Yeah, being angry!
White guy: Oh, that sounds good.
–Houston & 1st
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl #1: …so, my professor started talking about The Diary of Anne Frank.
Girl #2: Oh, Anne Frank! I used to love her! I had the diary, the notebooks and the pencils and everything.
Queer: What?
Girl #1: I think she means Lisa Frank.
–27th & 7th
Waif #1: Do you have any of that low-carb gum?
Waif #2: That stuff is super fierce.
Waif #1: I know.
–1 train
