Wednesday One-Liners: Straight, Not Narrow

White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!

–Madison Square Garden

Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Maggie

Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.

–68th & Columbus

Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.

–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Headaches

Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Peter

Posted on September 19, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, College, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Madison Square Garden, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Passengers, Philosophy, Questions, Sexuality, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Women

Einstein: It's Complicated

11-year-old camper: When do we get off?
Younger friend: When it's time to get off. You can't rush time!

–1 Train

Posted on September 18, 2014
Friends, Kids, On the Subway, Philosophy, Time

The I-Deliberately-Created-My-Diminished-Capacity Defense

Chick #1: You shouldn’t have slept with him. You knew that would really hurt his girlfriend…
Chick #2: Yeah, I know, but we were both so high on coke that neither of us should be held responsible for our actions.

–Starbucks, 50th & 9th

Overheard by: sketchy

Posted on August 24, 2014
Cocaine, Girls, Philosophy, Starbucks

That Dude Was So Hung Up on Rome

Girl on cell: Well you know, when in Rome. Who said that, was it Jesus? I think it was Jesus.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Nathalie

Posted on August 17, 2014
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Philosophy, Religion, Stupidity

Calling a Spade a Spade

Mr. Ivory: Why can’t I say the “N” word?
Mr. Ebony: Certain people can’t say certain things. Like we as Americans can say “Americans are so dumb to vote in Bush again”, but let a Canadian say that same thing and I will slap his ass.

–East Village

Posted on August 6, 2014
Bitch-slap, Black People, Philosophy, Union Square and East Village, White People

The Nuisance of Facts

20-something Intellectual: Facts are such a distraction from the essence of what’s really happening.

–Private Party, Brooklyn

Posted on July 31, 2014
Brooklyn, Philosophy, Places, Stupidity

The language of chickens

Middle-aged Man: “you know how people all over the world, chinese, african, whatever, they look different”
Middle-aged woman: “”well no matter where you go the chickens of the world, they look the same, ever thought about that”
Middle-aged Man: “I wonder if they speak the same language?”

— McDonald’s, by the corner of Houston & Hudson

Posted on July 31, 2014
Animals & Nature, Intelligentsia, Junk Food & Fast Food, Language Barrier, Philosophy, Stupidity, West Village

Satanic Fashion is Always Hot

Boy#1: So what are you going to do? Go to gospel choir practice or go shopping?
Boy#2: The sales are this week. God…is…forever.
Boy#1: …you may be going to Hell, but at least you’ll look good going.

–East Village

Overheard by: michi-L

Posted on July 26, 2014
Boys, God, Hell, Philosophy, Shopping, Union Square and East Village

Maybe He Should Be Labelled Smart Businessman

Businessman: I’m thinking that a $10 parking ticket is just a $10 parking permit for the day.

–Midtown office

Posted on July 25, 2014
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Philosophy, Suits

Philosophy