Queer: I want to have sex with a girl.
Girl, laughing: Any particular girl? Or just any girl?
Queer: Any girl. I’ve been watching a lot of straight porn and it seems interesting.
–NYU
Queer: I want to have sex with a girl.
Girl, laughing: Any particular girl? Or just any girl?
Queer: Any girl. I’ve been watching a lot of straight porn and it seems interesting.
–NYU
Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Wannabe thug paging through a Playboy, to another: Yo, check that shit out! Those are seven hundred bucks a pair. They got diamonds and crystals and shit in them!
–A train, W 4th St
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not gonna lie to you — I’m broke, homeless, and I really wanna see Big Momma’s House 2. Please spare some change.
–F train
Overheard by: benny
20-ish chick: Why is Jason Bateman in a movie called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium? This ruins all of my fantasies.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Diner: Yo, ‘hyena’ — I know how that’s spelled. H-Y-H-E-E-N-A. High-heena! I know that shit. I saw The Lion King.
–IHOP, Staten Island
Overheard by: explosivo
Ghetto white girl: She never even saw Breakfast at Tiffany’s until I lent it to her… Tryin’ to act like that’s her shit…
–B train
Young Socrates: Yo, son, Saw II is the ill philosophic reference.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: fival went east
Flight attendant: Attention, passengers, please turn your attention to channel 30. Caddyshack is on!
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Erica: I quickly went to channel thirty
Dude #1: Yeah, man, all we need to find now is one more hot chick who’s willing to do all that, and our porno is set!
Dude #2: For sure, man.
–Central Park
Poli-sci professor: How can someone directly counteract the message of porn? What is the counter speech alternative?
Student: Seventh Heaven?
–NYU
Overheard by: Rajsingh Rules
Chick on cell: Oh my god, I cried so much… Yeah, I’m going to go home and watch it again. Then I’m going to write ocean porn with my friend. When are you getting home?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Bernard
Hipster: To sunshine, rainbows and gay porn!
–Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park
Dude to chick: … So she put the CD in the computer, and as Windows Media Player starts popping up, I remember I had been jerking it to lesbian porn about a half hour before that…
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: P. Mills
Hipster chick on cell: … In Barnes and Noble’s. Yeah, we’ll be here for a while. I’m reading porn in the Science Fiction section… Yes, the Science Fiction section! So?
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Pl
Drunk guy: Yeah, so all these straight women are totally into this gay Japanese porn. You know, uh, what’s it called? Yahweh?
–Ceol Irish Pub, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Columbia student #1: So, Matt, you watched gay porn for three hours?!
Columbia student #2: What? It was for a project!
–117th & Broadway
Man: Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to drive to Kim’s downtown. I’m going to pull up outside and give you 20 dollars, and you’re going to go in there and pick out whatever Nazi porn movie your little heart desires.
Chick with Hebrew tattoo: Any one I want? Even SS Experiment Love Camp, or is that one too gruesome?
Man: You pick. Any one you want. Anything my sexy girl wants.
Chick with Hebrew tattoo: Awesome! Thank you!
–112th & Broadway
Genetics professor: So, you know, Mendel’s pea plants didn’t just grow all in one night.
Student: So what did he do while the plants grew?
Genetics professor: Hmmm, who knows? Look at porn?
–City College
