Woman: No, I’m telling you, I’m right! He couldn’t eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, and Trix were only supposed to be for kids.
Man: Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person.
[A period of silence — the woman looks down at her food.]
Man: What’s wrong?
Woman: I’m just really getting tired of you always being wrong.
–Michael’s Restaurant, Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
Black guy to his dad: You have to help me. My cock is turning into one of those fucking curly fries.
–71st & Continental
Woman: So I told him, if that’s the urethra you got the wrong hole.
–115th & Broadway
Girl in bathroom: Well, my friends live out here, but I’m from Manhattan, so I asked them what I should wear and they said this place was really casual. So I asked if I could at least wear heels..and they said no…but I can’t drink in sneakers!
–Astoria Beer Garden
Overheard by: melissa
Man: Do you think a minute is the same in Egypt as it is in New York?
Woman: I guess so, I don’t know.
Man: ‘Cause you know that song “In a New York Minute,” I think a minute is different here. It’s probably shorter.
–American Airlines terminal, JFK
Middle-aged Latino woman to younger black woman: Listen, I got rights, ok? I mean I’ll do the time for it, I don’t care. On this train you gotta give people respect, ’cause everyone’s a person. You give ’em respect, then you punch ’em.
–M train
Twentysomething girl on cell: Because I beat the crap out of him, that’s why I got fired.
–Continental Ave & Austin St, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sean Finnerty
Little boy: You be the president, and I’ll be the terrorist.
–Queens Blvd & 63rd St
Overheard by: Nina
10-year-old white boy: He thinks all dark people are Osama Bin Laden.
10-year-old brown boy: That is a disgrace to me. I’m not even Hindu, yo.
–24th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kelly
Gay guys are on line with a group of straight guys behind them.
Gay guy #1: I think I want a hot dog.
Gay guy #2: I can help you with that.
Gay guy #3: People can hear you.
They walk away
Straight guy to friends: I would make such a good gay guy.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Hogan
Guy: Don’t let guys buy your drinks.
Group of girls: Why not?
Guy: Because they’ll put something in your drink. That shit happened to my ex-wife and next thing I know i’m paying child support every other Tuesday!
–N train, Astoria
Overheard by: nick judge
Girl #1: This isn’t ice tea…
Girl #2: Right. There’s no ice in it. The difference between ice tea and tea is that ice tea is cold.
Girl #1: This is cold.
Girl #2: Then it’s ice tea.
Girl #1: But that’s not the difference.
Girl #2: That’s unsweetened ice tea.
Girl #1: Then it’s tea.
–Bay Terrace Shopping Center, Queens
