Bus driver stops in the middle of the street, opens the door, and yells out: Hey! I called you last night, why you didn’t answer? Yeah, I’m working now…What you doing this weekend? Wanna go fishing? Let’s do barbeque. What? Yeah, yeah, man, let’s get some barbeque going. Okay, I have to work now. I’ll call you later tonight.
–Bell Boulevard, Queens
Girl #1: Yo, all these places are Greek. Owned by people who are Greek, ya know?
Girl #2: That means they’re from the Middle East, right? Like Yugoslavia and shit.
–28th & Steinway, Astoria
Overheard by: Gregorio
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
Lady: Ewww! It smells like someone made a dump!
Bum shrugs.
–Queens Blvd, Forest Hills
Old lady: Why would anyone ever want to move to Queens?
–R train
Overheard by: mo
Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
Asian guy: Yo, nigger.
Black guy: Fuck you. You ain’t my nigger.
–90th St, Elmhurst
Kid: Excuse me, can you get Floyd to sign something for me?
Security guard: No. Floyd hates kids.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Silent K
Guy #1: I think she’s Mexican.
Guy #2: Nah, she can’t be Mexican, I’ve been there, they cute but short.
Guy #1: Yeah, now that you mention it, she is a little too tall to be Mexican, but I don’t care, I’ll still hit it.
Guy #2: I’ll hit it and help her get her papers if she doesn’t have them. I’m all for amnesty in the name of getting laid.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Tydestra, who speaks English
