Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!”
Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
Queer #1: So what’s your name?
Queer #2: Yanni.
Queer #1: No fucking way! That’s my name!
–Rawhide, Chelsea
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Man: Just a little gay boy, yes. But a little gay boy with a big ass dick.
–S. Williamsburg
Ed.: What’s an ass dick?
Queer #1: When’s the only time you’re supposed to walk in front of a woman?
Queer #2: Let me think…
Queer #1: If you’re walking down the stairs. That way, if she falls you can break her fall and catch her. So when you came on this elevator in front of this young lady, you were being rude!
–Midtown elevator
Gay teen: I told her that while she’s over there she has to find me a German boyfriend.
Girl: Why?
Gay teen: So he can dress up like a Nazi and we can play concentration camp fetish games.
Girl: Oh, right.
–Odessa, Ave. A
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now?
–East Village
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Young gay man: These two girls I live with don't shower.
Older gay man: Ugh! That's so Bushwick.
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Natty
Guy #1, as younger guy walks by in very long dress shirt and shorts: Is he wearing pants?
Guy #2: I certainly hope not!
–54th & 9th
Gay guy: Oh, I just realized I took Tyler's phone this morning.
Straight guy: That's what happens when you and your boyfriend get identical phones.
Gay guy: Brilliant idea–I'm going to text him now, and his name will come up in the caller id. I'll pretend to be him from the future and start making dire predictions.
(his phone beeps) Dammit, he noticed. I just got a text from Van-from-the-future.
Straight guy: You guys are an oddly perfect couple.
–87th St & 3rd Ave
20-something gorgeous gay man wearing tiara: He wouldn't tell me where he was, so then I said “let me smell ya dick!”
20-something drop-dead hot girl: Something's rotten in Denmark.
–Bleecker & W 4th
