Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Queer #1: Overheard made me straight.
Queer #2: Huh?
Queer #1: Overheard in New York, the website?
Queer #2: I know what it is. How the fuck could it make you straight?
Queer #1: Well, there was this picture….of a body without a head…and it looked like a guy…a hot one, so I emailed–
Queer #2: You emailed someone about a headless pic on a website?
Queer #1: Don’t judge! You do it on Manhunt all the time! Whatever, so the guy who runs the website is all, “No, it’s a girl. Ha, ha, ha, you like girls.” He revoked my gay card.
Queer #2: That’s what you get for headless picture hunting on the internet.
Queer #1: Shut up, bottomboimanhattan24. You’re one to talk.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I was nearly dying. I’m not sure if the original story is true, but if so, this is hysterical.
Oh, it’s true:
Chick #1: He hooked up with a guy over break.
Chick #2: He did?
Chick #1: Yeah, in Miami over break, he said, “I never turn down a dare.”
–New School elevator, 12th Street & 3rd Avenue
Girl: I’m not going to the gym today.
Queer: Oh my god, this is like the gazillionth time you’ve cancelled. Honey, no offense, and I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but you give me no choice. You’re starting to get fat. You need to start going to the gym, like, every day or no man’s gonna wan’t you.
Girl: You gays are so fucking judgmental. Oh, and since I’m such a fat cow, you can go find someone else to help you stretch and have to deal with your sweaty balls in their face.
–Starbucks, Park Row
Guy: You should become a lesbian. It seems to be working out for everyone else.
Girl: Yeah, um, I’ll have to pass.
Guy: You’re so shallow.
–A train
Overheard by: drewseph
Guy: You know, for a hundred dollars, you can get that old mink stole
made into a teddy bear!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Ron Caldwell
Chick #1: I really think this is the way to go.
Chick #2: I told you, I’m not ready. They don’t even know me. I don’t want them to always think of me as “that lesbian girl.” I said no.
Chick #1: I meant Eighth Avenue.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Mchelly
Guy #1: Did you give anything to your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?
Guy #2: No…I didn’t. I date girls.
Guy #1: Oh. Really?
Guy #2: Yeah. Why would you think that I go for guys?
Guy #1: I just always thought…
Guy #2: Really? Why?
Guy #1: Well you’re bald.
Guy #2: But you’re bald too.
Guy #1: Yeah. Exactly.
–Elevator, Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Shacks
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Teen girl: Now what she needs is a razor dildo.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Alissa R.
