Queer #1: So, what did you think of him?
Queer #2: I don’t see what he sees in him.
Queer #1: And he’s poor.
Queer #2: No! Why is he with someone that homely if he doesn’t have
money?
Queer #1: And did you see his teeth?
Queer #2: There isn’t enough money for me to stick my dick in that
mouth.
–81st & Amsterdam
Queer: It’s happening again. My eye is totally twitching.
Guy: No, I don’t see anythinig. are you sure?
Queer: I’m sure. I can feel it. I can feel it but no one can see it. It’s twitching.
Guy: I don’t see it.
Queer: It’s not my eyeball, it’s here. This is so gross.
Guy: Yeah, i just don’t see it.
Queer: It is so disturbing. This happens to Sheila, too, and no one else can see. Only it’s half of her face.
–1 train
Overheard by: Cherie
Dude #1: We were discussing the Holocaust in my class, and there was this really hot guy in it, and all I could think about was fucking him.
Dude #2: Fucking a guy in the Holocaust? Ew.
–1st Avenue & 12th Street
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Girl: If anybody is gonna bring back the cape it will probably be a
lesbian.
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Girl #1: I am, like, so obsessed with Asian guys. He is so great. I would so date him.
Girl #2: Date him? But he’s gay.
Girl #1: Those are my favorite kind of Asians.
–Grand Central
Queer #1: I woke up this morning with a used condom hanging from my ass. Was that you?
Queer #2: You are so disgusting.
–Cilantro’s, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Srednivashtar
Paralegal chick #1: You have any plans for tonight?
Paralegal chick #2: Yeah, I’m going on a date with a girl I met online.
Paralegal chick #1: Oh. I didn’t know that you’re a lesbian.
Paralegal chick #2: I’m not.
–Office, 42nd & Lexington
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Queer #1: Overheard made me straight.
Queer #2: Huh?
Queer #1: Overheard in New York, the website?
Queer #2: I know what it is. How the fuck could it make you straight?
Queer #1: Well, there was this picture….of a body without a head…and it looked like a guy…a hot one, so I emailed–
Queer #2: You emailed someone about a headless pic on a website?
Queer #1: Don’t judge! You do it on Manhunt all the time! Whatever, so the guy who runs the website is all, “No, it’s a girl. Ha, ha, ha, you like girls.” He revoked my gay card.
Queer #2: That’s what you get for headless picture hunting on the internet.
Queer #1: Shut up, bottomboimanhattan24. You’re one to talk.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I was nearly dying. I’m not sure if the original story is true, but if so, this is hysterical.
Oh, it’s true:
