Queer #1: Do you know anyone named Jonathan who is here tonight?
Queer #2: I know five Jonathans who are here tonight. Why?
Queer #1: Because this guy named Jonathan just came up and started making out with me and then left.
Queer #2: That sounds like all five Jonathans.
–View Bar, 22nd & 8th
Queer #1: So the whole time you were married you weren’t going out with men?
Queer #2: Nope.
–Bleecker & 6th
Chick: I’m going to get some popcorn. Do you want anything to eat?
Queer: Nah, no thanks.
Chick: So just my vajayjay then?
Queer: Yep, thanks.
–Lincoln Square Theater, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jas
Girl #1: I’m scared that I’m going to wake up one morning and be a lesbian.
Girl #2: Jesus, we’re in public.
–Rose Hill, Fordham University
Tall guy: Dude I swear to god, I was on my bed with this mad hot chick and we were making out for like a whole hour…
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
Tall guy: No…you don’t understand…I was feeling her down there, and she…duuuuuude…she had a cock!
Pause
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
–L’Express
Overheard by: John Eckstein
Hipster guy on cell: So you like the kid more than the pussy?
–15th & Washington Sq. W
Overheard by: Joelseph Galasso
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Dude: I’ve fired 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One girl was fat. But she didn’t know it. She would come into work with her belly falling out of her shirt. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
–NYSC, 38th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Store guy: Ha! Nice scooter.
Girl: At least I don’t work at Foot Locker, asshole.
Store guy: At least I don’t wear plaid and play lesbian softball.
–Delancey & Allen
Guy: Is that an iPod?
Girl: No, it’s a gaydar.
–D train
