Guy: Alright, bye, Corinne! Nice meeting you, Jess.
Jess: He was nice. How do you know him?
Corrine: … My hand smells like penis. Does your hand smell like penis?
–Outside Bleecker Street Bakery
Overheard by: mine didn’t
Guy: Alright, bye, Corinne! Nice meeting you, Jess.
Jess: He was nice. How do you know him?
Corrine: … My hand smells like penis. Does your hand smell like penis?
–Outside Bleecker Street Bakery
Overheard by: mine didn’t
Hardhat: Sometimes I like pissing on the sawdust floor and seeing the dust come right back up in the air.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: TVontheFritz
Black hardhat to hot chick: Will you be my screensaver?
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: Philip
Hardhat: This whole street smells like panties!
–43rd & 8th
Big hardhat, after bumped by lady: Yo, I’m tryin’ to be Italian over here!
–64th & 1st
Overheard by: Rich Templeton
Girl #1, sniffing: Do you smell maple syrup?
Girl #2: You mean that urine stench?
Girl #1: Oh, I guess that’s it.
–A train, 96th St
Basketball thug: Yo, my mama’s breasts smell like rusty pickles!
–Columbus Park, by City Hall
Overheard by:
Man: Dude, smell my cellphone…
–Broadway, Astoria
Fat tourist: I smell like a slave ship.
–Restaurant, Mulberry & Broome
Chick on cell: That is true, however, it is definitely not my fault your apartment smells like an ass crack.
–48th & 5th
Overheard by: Laurie
Fat black lady to son: Where is the train? I smell it, but where is it?
–Fulton & Pearl
Overheard by: Justin
Nerdy 35-year-old accountant: Sorry about burping in your face. I had three slices of bacon pizza for lunch.
Horrified female intern: I can tell.
Nerdy 35-year-old accountant: It was delicious.
–Corporate office, 17th & 5th
Overheard by: Other Intern Laughing his ass off
Loud girl: Ugh! It smells like vagina in here!
Embarrassed friend: Shhh! You’re so loud!
Loud girl: No, seriously. It fucking smells on this train. It smells like a big, sweaty fucking vagina.
Embarrassed friend: It’s not that bad.
Loud girl: Yes, yes it is. Those train doors are the hole, and now we’re standing in a loose, flappy, smelly vagina.
–6 train
Overheard by: it did smell
College student: Hey, what’s up?
Grad student, slowly: The stench of humanity is strong within my nostrils.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop
Anorexic wannabe #1: Ugh, no, ugh… It smells like salt in here! And fat!
Anorexic wannabe #2: Let’s get out of here.
–Chelsea Market, Bowery Kitchen
Overheard by: Rev
Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: -|
Girl: I never get into empty cars anymore. Last time I did there was a dead guy laying there, and I was stuck with that smell in my nose all day.
–Subway platform, South Ferry
Overheard by: annikee
Man to wife: What, you want to keep riding the train back and forth? I did that shit once. It was the most boring experience of my entire life!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: soixantedeux
Chick after V train passes through the station: There’s a runaway V train and people are still on it!
–C/E platform, 23rd St
Girl: Whenever I’m on the subway all I can think about is sex!
–NYU
Overheard by: ana
Announcer: There is a Bronx-bound one train approaching 34th Street.
–14th St station
Overheard by: Glad to know where the train I missed is
Mom to small child: Do you know if the trains are running express today, or will we have to take the local all the way down?
–W 93rd St
Tourist girl: Waaait… Is this the bus?
–E train, Queens
Overheard by: MegMC
