Horrified tourist chick #1: Oh my god, did you see that?
Horrified tourist chick #2: I think it’s a sex shop!
Horrified tourist chick #1: No!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Horrified tourist chick #1: Oh my god, did you see that?
Horrified tourist chick #2: I think it’s a sex shop!
Horrified tourist chick #1: No!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Queer #1: You thought he wasn’t going to fuck you, but he did!
Queer #2, squealing: Yay! [Shares high-fives with whole group.]
–34 Cooper Square
Trendy college guy, about girl #1: We had really good sex last night.
Girl #2: That’s nice. Did you have really good sex this morning, too?
Girl #1: No way — his apartment was way too hot.
Girl #2: You could’ve did it in the shower…
Girl #1: Oh, yeah, we didn’t think of that… Oh, well, I’m over it.
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Janice
Hardhat #1: I can’t!
Hardhat #2: How come?
Hardhat #1: I gotta go home.
Hardhat #2: Why?
Hardhat #1: It’s Thursday. I get fucked on Thursday.
–13th & Ave A
Hipster girl: Yeah, but there’s a big difference between having a social life and having a social life with someone you want to have sex with.
–Bedford Ave
Lady: So, do you even want to put that in me anymore?
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Luke
Black guy to posse: What?! I don’t go to the ones where you can have sex with them!
–Chelsea
20-ish girl to friend: Dude, he, like, humps my leg on command!
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: sweetchuck
White girl to friends: Just remember — I made a sex tape so you don’t have to!
–Bar 13
Student: Old people sex?! Ewww!
71-year-old professor: Don’t you know that old people fuck like rabbits? We love it!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ash
Guy #1: Dude, that man squirrel is about to rape that woman squirrel.
Guy #2: Do squirrels have wieners?
Guy #1: I don’t know… I want to see if he sticks it in her!
Guy #2: Oh my god! They’re 69-ing each other! This is awesome!
Guy #1: Holy shit! He just stuck his head up her squirrel-gina!
Guy #2: [Captivated silence.]
–Central Park
Overheard by: Armando
Black guy: So, are we going to fuck tonight, or what?
White girl: I can’t, I have my period.
Black guy: Your mouth isn’t bleeding, is it?
White girl, giggling: Okay, fine.
–F train
Overheard by: Carrie
Guy #1, at urinal: Yo, that chick who came with Nancy — smokin’.
Guy #2, in stall: Yeah, bro. Anna. I tagged the shit out of her once in her parents’ house in Long Island.
Guy #1: No fucking way! You’re such a douchebag.
Guy #2: I’m serious, man. It was kind of awkward and shit… I kept slipping off the bed — it was tough to get in position.
Guy #1: Damn, you were that wasted?!
Guy #2: Nah, man, it was on her little brother’s bed. He had rubber sheets and shit.
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: He’s like a perpetual bed-wetter or some shit. Her bedroom was right next to her parents’… Totally fucked up my style.
–Bathroom, Sutton Place Bar
Overheard by: Cuthbert
Girl #1, outraged: How could you have sex without us?!
Girl #2: Relax — it was with a guy.
–Columbia University
