Guy on date: So, are you really a Mormon?
Girl on date: Yeah.
Guy on date: Does that mean you don’t have sex?
Girl on date: Well, not vaginally.
–Mulberry & Grand
Guy on date: So, are you really a Mormon?
Girl on date: Yeah.
Guy on date: Does that mean you don’t have sex?
Girl on date: Well, not vaginally.
–Mulberry & Grand
Dude #1: Whoa, dude! On the first date? That’s like anal!
Dude #2: Nah, man, that’s like drilling her a new hole!
–Silver Center, NYU
Overheard by: Gidget
Girl yelling to friend across street: Hey, guess what? I smelled it! I smelled it from here!
–Fordham University
Blonde on cell: So, I just took my hair down, and all I smelled was Dove and crack.
–JFK
Overheard by: spanky
Man to no one: It smells like my ex-wife in here!
–Highline Ballroom
Hootchie on cell: No joke — it smelled ripe down there. I be all, ‘Jimmy… D-A-M-N! I’m too busy gagging from the smell to gag on your bits.’
–W Broadway
Girl crying on cell to boyfriend: How could you fuck her?! Her pussy stinks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SplendidConfusion
Thug on cell: Yo, I’m sure she smells better now, bro!
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: mj
Old guy with gray hair: I used to be an old guy with gray hair!
–Mott & Canal St
Overheard by: Will
80-year-old man: What is rough sex? Do I put her against the wall? I don’t know.
–10th & 3rd
Overheard by: Liz
Old lady struggling to get layers of scarves and coats off: I’m not used to having to put clothes on.
–New York Historical Society
Old lady on cell: Old people like sex! I’m 85, and I still like me some sex!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: imerikaf
75-year-old lady to hobo on bench: Oh, wow, you look so cozy!
–Central Park
Old man with cane to 20-ish girl who just nabbed the cab he hailed: Happy holidays, you dumb bitch!
–62nd & 2nd
Old white guy: Fo’ shizzle!
–Outside Nederlander Theatre
Horrified tourist chick #1: Oh my god, did you see that?
Horrified tourist chick #2: I think it’s a sex shop!
Horrified tourist chick #1: No!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Queer #1: You thought he wasn’t going to fuck you, but he did!
Queer #2, squealing: Yay! [Shares high-fives with whole group.]
–34 Cooper Square
Trendy college guy, about girl #1: We had really good sex last night.
Girl #2: That’s nice. Did you have really good sex this morning, too?
Girl #1: No way — his apartment was way too hot.
Girl #2: You could’ve did it in the shower…
Girl #1: Oh, yeah, we didn’t think of that… Oh, well, I’m over it.
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Janice
Hardhat #1: I can’t!
Hardhat #2: How come?
Hardhat #1: I gotta go home.
Hardhat #2: Why?
Hardhat #1: It’s Thursday. I get fucked on Thursday.
–13th & Ave A
Hipster girl: Yeah, but there’s a big difference between having a social life and having a social life with someone you want to have sex with.
–Bedford Ave
Lady: So, do you even want to put that in me anymore?
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Luke
Black guy to posse: What?! I don’t go to the ones where you can have sex with them!
–Chelsea
20-ish girl to friend: Dude, he, like, humps my leg on command!
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: sweetchuck
White girl to friends: Just remember — I made a sex tape so you don’t have to!
–Bar 13
Student: Old people sex?! Ewww!
71-year-old professor: Don’t you know that old people fuck like rabbits? We love it!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ash
