Sidewalk vendor #1 to friend: So, and now tell me honestly, is it better to have sex high or not-high?
Sidewalk vendor #2: What are you talking about, of course high is better!
Sidewalk vendor #1: Would you shut up and let the man answer?! Christ, no manners with this one. [To friend] So which is it?
–Broadway @ 112th
Overheard by: Matthew Daniel
Tall guy: Dude I swear to god, I was on my bed with this mad hot chick and we were making out for like a whole hour…
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
Tall guy: No…you don’t understand…I was feeling her down there, and she…duuuuuude…she had a cock!
Pause
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
–L’Express
Overheard by: John Eckstein
Parking garage attendant: I ain’t even playin’. This is not a game. I can eat the pussy for three hours. Straight.
–12th St. between 7th & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Guy: If you were playing Risk, and you were Charles Darwin, would you place all of your armies on the Galapagos Islands?
–91st & Columbus
Overheard by: John Bardes
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Chick #1: Ugh, he totally meatballed me.
Chick #2: I hate that.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Mahlo Hawn
Girl #1: I hung out with Jeff last night, this guy I just met.
Girl #2: Yeah, did you have sex with him?
Girl #1: NOOO! I just met him, I only gave him a blow job. I know we’ll run into each other again and I didn’t want things to be awkward.
–6th & A
Overheard by: Kristen May Anastasia
Suit on cell: Yo man, it’s Wednesday, are you ready to go get drunk and nail some bitches?… Hold on… What the fuck? I’m just in a manic rage and I want to destroy everything. What’s so wrong with that, Dad?
–13th between 3rd & 4th
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Old man #1: Do you know why a bunny is connected to Easter?
Old man #2: No.
Old man #1: It’s because Easter is about fertility and rabbits are animals that are always copulating.
Old man #2: Huh, I never heard about that.
Old man #1: Think about it. On Easter, you have the bunnies and the bunnies have eggs and the eggs have children in them.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda Matteis
