Girl #1: I hung out with Jeff last night, this guy I just met.
Girl #2: Yeah, did you have sex with him?
Girl #1: NOOO! I just met him, I only gave him a blow job. I know we’ll run into each other again and I didn’t want things to be awkward.
–6th & A
Overheard by: Kristen May Anastasia
Suit on cell: Yo man, it’s Wednesday, are you ready to go get drunk and nail some bitches?… Hold on… What the fuck? I’m just in a manic rage and I want to destroy everything. What’s so wrong with that, Dad?
–13th between 3rd & 4th
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Old man #1: Do you know why a bunny is connected to Easter?
Old man #2: No.
Old man #1: It’s because Easter is about fertility and rabbits are animals that are always copulating.
Old man #2: Huh, I never heard about that.
Old man #1: Think about it. On Easter, you have the bunnies and the bunnies have eggs and the eggs have children in them.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda Matteis
Woman #1: So I fucked this guy last night.
Woman #2: Really? Cool.
Woman #1: Yeah, it was kinda hard trying to get the cum out of my work clothes…
Woman #2: Mm-hmm, I heard that vinegar and Tide can get that right out.
–B68 bus
Overheard by: Trevlond
Guy: You know whose coochie smells? Don’t take this the wrong way: white girls. White girls’ coochie always smells nasty. Every white girl I been with, their coochie is stank.
Chick: You know why? It’s ’cause white girls live far from the ghetto, and they have a longass train ride to get to the ghetto, and by the time they get to your house in the ghetto, they sweating and waiting and their coochie stinks.
–40th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cherie
Hipster girl #1: …So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I’m around him.
Hipster girl #2: Why? ‘Cause you had dream sex with him?
–L train
Overheard by: master overhear-er
Conductor #1: I have to head back to check out a problem.
Conductor #2: What’s the problem?
Conductor #1: Apparently some guy is masturbating in his seat.
Conductor #3: Could you two please switch to another channel?
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Steve Ross
Girl #1: I know it smells kind of cheap, but I like it because it’s the perfume I was wearing when I lost my virginity.
Girl #2: I thought you were wearing Ralph when you lost it.
Girl #1: No, that was my other virginity.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Lindsay Hall
Mom: Nigga, chill! Grandma’s going to make you some Spanish baked ziti. And I got me some tequila, some margarita mix, and a big ass bottle of tequila, and dat shit’s about to get twisted!
A train rushes by on other track.
Mom: Damn! That shit just gave me an orgasm!
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Emily Aldridge
