Sista #1: I wish he’d take them fuckin’ pants off do I could see what he got to work with.
Sista #2: He’s a whopper!
Sista #1: His dick could make him money, man.
–Union Square
Overheard by: lost soul
Sista #1: I wish he’d take them fuckin’ pants off do I could see what he got to work with.
Sista #2: He’s a whopper!
Sista #1: His dick could make him money, man.
–Union Square
Overheard by: lost soul
Woman: I can’t imagine sleeping with any of my male friends.
Man: You just need to ignore personality.
–Nacho’s Kitchen, 112th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Twentysomething girl #1: Why didn’t you go in his room and see if he was home?
Twentysomething girl #2: So I could go in there and see him with his dick out? Porn all over the place, passed out like he exhausted himself? I’m good. No thanks.
–33rd St. PATH train
Overheard by: Teen
Bagboy: What’s with all the bruises?
Cashier girl: My boyfriend likes to bite.
Bagboy: What? You dating vampires now but you still won’t go out with Tommy?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: next in line
Sidewalk vendor #1 to friend: So, and now tell me honestly, is it better to have sex high or not-high?
Sidewalk vendor #2: What are you talking about, of course high is better!
Sidewalk vendor #1: Would you shut up and let the man answer?! Christ, no manners with this one. [To friend] So which is it?
–Broadway @ 112th
Overheard by: Matthew Daniel
Tall guy: Dude I swear to god, I was on my bed with this mad hot chick and we were making out for like a whole hour…
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
Tall guy: No…you don’t understand…I was feeling her down there, and she…duuuuuude…she had a cock!
Pause
Short guy: Yeah? Did you put it in?
–L’Express
Overheard by: John Eckstein
Parking garage attendant: I ain’t even playin’. This is not a game. I can eat the pussy for three hours. Straight.
–12th St. between 7th & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Guy: If you were playing Risk, and you were Charles Darwin, would you place all of your armies on the Galapagos Islands?
–91st & Columbus
Overheard by: John Bardes
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Chick #1: Ugh, he totally meatballed me.
Chick #2: I hate that.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Mahlo Hawn
