Chick #1: I should go to sleep earlier. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t.
Chick #2, reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: I should also kill my roommate. I desperately want to, but I don’t think prison would agree with me. I don’t want to be someone’s bitch.
Chick #2, still reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: Are you even listening to me?
Chick #2, exasperated: What the hell do you want?!
–NYU
Girl #1: Uh… This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: Yeah. Why?
Girl #1: There was just a guy in here!
Girl #3: No… that’s a woman.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #3: Yeah, she’s in my class.
–NYU
Headline by: Brady
Runners-Up:
· “Does She Always Stand While She Pees?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Hermaphrodites 101” – Sami
· “Janet Reno: The College Years” – International Man of Leisure
· “Just because I’m washing my hands, doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.” – aaron Stephenson
NYU Tisch student #1: What are your views on religion?
NYU Tisch student #2: I don’t believe in God. I do believe in bran cereal. It protects against rectal cancer.
–NYU Tisch building
School girl #1: I wish I had the chance to watch more old movies.
School girl #2: Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I haven’t seen any of the classics… You know, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Dirty Dancing.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: trannysmithapple
College girl #1: If you have holes in your pants and it’s winter, you’re not making a fashion statement, you’re poor.
College girl #2: But she was wearing leggings under them…
College girl #1: No, I don’t care. She’s poor.
–St. John’s University
Asian chick: I’m just so sick of failing in general.
–NYU Bobst Library
Overheard by: jason
NYU girl to friends: Well, he’s not always drunk. Sometimes he’s high.
–Prince & Mercer
NYU chick: I found out I didn’t have AIDS… I went to Whole Foods… It was a good day.
–27th & Park
Overheard by: It was a good day
NYU bimbette: All popular people have herpes. Just look at them!
–NYU
NYU chick: Yeah, we almost broke up like four or five times, so I think that’s indicative that we’re happy together.
–Bowery & Canal
NYU girl on cell: I don’t know what to do about going abroad. My parents want me to go to London, but I looked at my Tarot cards and they’re telling me Dublin. What should I do?
–721 Broadway
Overheard by: Tyler
Queer student: I don’t really have a problem with incest, but in my family there aren’t many lookers.
–NYU Silver Center
NYU girl #1: … And then she, like, bled all over my shit.
NYU girl #2: Oh my god, that is disgusting!
NYU girl #1: Oh, I know.
–E 7th & 2nd Ave
Sophomore #1: So yeah, my week off was really interesting. What about yours?
Sophomore #2: Boring. My brother fell off a balcony.
–Notra Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: The junior at the next table
Law student: Dude, when I started school I was like,’ This shit’s gonna suck for my social life,’ but it turns out there are tons of cute girls in law school and they love to get drunk.
Non-law student: Really? So you’ve hooked up with a lot of girls at school?
Law student: Just one, actually, but it was only because I needed her notes.
–Metro North to White Plains
Student #1: I was riding the six train home and I felt something on my arm. I looked over and this guy was rubbing his penis on my arm! [Class gasps in horror.]Student #2: Well, was he cute?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Never riding the 6 train again
