Stupidity

Queer #1: Overheard made me straight.
Queer #2: Huh?
Queer #1: Overheard in New York, the website?
Queer #2: I know what it is. How the fuck could it make you straight?
Queer #1: Well, there was this picture….of a body without a head…and it looked like a guy…a hot one, so I emailed–
Queer #2: You emailed someone about a headless pic on a website?
Queer #1: Don’t judge! You do it on Manhunt all the time! Whatever, so the guy who runs the website is all, “No, it’s a girl. Ha, ha, ha, you like girls.” He revoked my gay card.
Queer #2: That’s what you get for headless picture hunting on the internet.
Queer #1: Shut up, bottomboimanhattan24. You’re one to talk.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: I was nearly dying. I’m not sure if the original story is true, but if so, this is hysterical.

Oh, it’s true:

Guy #1: Cato worked his way into power through his ororatorical…ororitary…He talked good.
Guy #2: I think that was meta-irony.

–116th & Broadway

Old lady: I like this address book, but I want one with ABCs on the side.
Store guy: Well, this one has tabs, but no letters…
Old lady: Why don’t you have any that have ABCs?
Store guy: This collection was made in Japan…
Old lady: And what, they don’t go by ABCs there?

–MoMA Design Store, West 53rd Street

Girl #1: It’s not that I hated history, I just hated all the
memorization. All the names, and dates, and places. And the wars! I mean, how am I supposed to remember whether Hitler was in World War I or World War II?
Girl #2: I think he had his own war.

–Office, 34th & Lexington

Overheard by: Fat Clown

Girl #1: We have to turn right on this street.
Girl #2: But it’s a one way…
Girl #1: Dude, we are walking!

–Fort Greene

Overheard by: pratt radio

Chick #1: Yeah, but I can’t keep fucking him.
Chick #2: Why not?
Chick #1: Because I’m not in love with him.
Chick #2: Oh. Well, how did you fuck him till now?
Chick #1: Usually with me on top.

–Clinton & Rivington

Teen chick: You know, I really like vacuuming.
Teen guy: Ew. That’s gross.
Teen chick: What? That I like to clean? I’m a woman…Isn’t it my job?

–C train

Girl #1: So I told him, “Uh-uh, no way, that’s a one way exit!”
Girl #2: Yeah, but have you ever seen a two way exit?

–14th & 3rd

Girl #1: I hate my haircut. But it might just be in pictures. I need to look at myself in the mirror for a few hours.
Girl #2: Like you do every day?
Girl #1: Yeah, I’m a little vain.

–60th & Columbus

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Guy: You got something on your face.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: EBS