Woman #1: Hey! How have you been?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Forget it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jane
Woman #1: Hey! How have you been?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Forget it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jane
Girl #1: So I hear you’re single again.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s great. I can stop shaving my ass!
–Outside Starbucks, Times Square
Headline by: Marsha Mellow
Runners-Up:
· “Donkey Breathes Sigh of Relief” – Mike Curry
· “Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Shorn” – Adrianne
· “It was the happiest day of Mother Teresa’s life.” – Dave
· “Oh, good, Oprah is back on the market!” – Anna
· “So easy, even a caveman can do it!” – waxes!
· “When she’s dating again she’ll cut it all off and donate it to cancer victims” – Peter B
· “You’re Not Gonna Stop Shaving Mine, Are You?” – Trey Jackson
Little girl: I want Santa to get me a Bratz doll for Christmas!
Mother: Yeah? Which one?
Little girl: The one that looks like me.
Mother, mumbling: Honey, you don’t look like a five-dollar crack whore.
Little girl: What?
Mother: Nothing.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
Hippie chick: They don’t use dryers in that country. I hung them outside.
Ditzy chick yelling over traffic: You what them?!
Hippie chick: Hung… Hung… Like a penis.
Ditzy chick: How do you hang a penis?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Hot chick walks by in Yankees sweatshirt.
Guy to friend: Dude. Dude, that girl is hot as fuck. I would hit that so hard.
Mets fan nearby: Ouch. Sucks she’s a Yankees fan.
Guy: What? Who the hell cares? She could have a fucking penis, and I’d still hit that shit up, down, left, right, and diagonally.
Mets fan: That’s kinda gay.
–Times Square
Activist: Would you like to take a stand against gender-based violence?
Man: No thanks, I’m all set.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jujubee
Woman #1 after Wicked raffle: Ugh, I can’t believe we didn’t win. It really sucks.
Woman #2: I know, I’m totally bummed out.
Woman #1: Well, that one woman, like, really deserved to win because it was her birthday.
Woman #2: And the rest of them were pretty good-looking, too.
Woman #1: Well, just as long as none of them were, like, ugly. I guess then it’s okay.
Woman #2: Yeah, most of them were pretty hot. I’d do them.
–50th & Broadway
Overheard by: T.M.
Drunk girl #1: Seriously, I hate guys. From tonight, on, I’m going to be a lesbian. Kara, you can’t say no to anyone — want to sleep with me?
Drunk girl #2: Ew!
Drunk girl #1: That’s a ‘Maybe’!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Laura
Black guy holding out headphones: Hey man, you like hip-hop music? It’s all me right here, pimp!
Long-haired metalhead: Nah, man. I got nothing.
Black guy: White boy with no money? C’mon, I find that hard to believe.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Phil
Tourist mom: Oh my god! Hey, look, it’s an advertisement we know!
Tourist children chanting in unison: Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get!
–Times Square
