Stand-up comedy promoter: That’s right folks! I’m not scary.
Teen girl: Riiight.
Stand-up comedy promoter, screaming after her: I don’t bite! I don’t have rabies! I took medication, and they said I’d be okay!
–Outside MTV store
Stand-up comedy promoter: That’s right folks! I’m not scary.
Teen girl: Riiight.
Stand-up comedy promoter, screaming after her: I don’t bite! I don’t have rabies! I took medication, and they said I’d be okay!
–Outside MTV store
Girl: So, are you still getting me pregnant this weekend?
Confused boyfriend: … What?
Girl: Oh. Did I not tell you about that?
–TKTS booth, Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· “Did You Not Get the Memo Stapled to the Condom?” – Ashez
· “He shoots, She whores!” – Qasar
· “I Want To Have Your Abortion” – travis
· “The Girl’s Guide to Getting Your Boyfriend to Listen: Part 1” – Heather S
· “Yeah, I’m Obligating.” – kerm
MTA worker #1: Que sera, sera.
MTA worker #2: Is that French?
MTA worker #1: Yeah.
–Times Square subway station
Overheard by: Cat
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever — the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away… That movie was awesome!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
–Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I’m recording this!
–Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it’s my Bible. I hang on every word, ’cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren’t like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I’ve ever seen!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
–The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
Girl #1: What did you get?
Girl #2: Just some blank CDs at Virgin.
Girl #1: Oh, really? Any good ones?
–Union Square
Headline by: mkb
Runners-Up:
· “And by blank CDs I mean ninja stars” – Circuit City Ginzu
· “I Hear That CD-R Is Going to Hit It Big Some Day” – Amanda
· “Someone Needs Her Neurons Popped” – adam a. n.
· “Yeah, This John Cage Anthology Fucking Rules” – t.a.m.s.y.
Girl #1: Did you go to the restaurant I told you? The one with the waiter who–
Girl #2: –Fucks you with his eyes? Oh, yes.
–AMC, Times Square
Teen chick hugging teen boy: Bye, baby, I’m gonna miss you so much.
Teen boy: I farted.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lois
Woman #1: Hey! How have you been?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Forget it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jane
Girl #1: So I hear you’re single again.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s great. I can stop shaving my ass!
–Outside Starbucks, Times Square
Headline by: Marsha Mellow
Runners-Up:
· “Donkey Breathes Sigh of Relief” – Mike Curry
· “Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Shorn” – Adrianne
· “It was the happiest day of Mother Teresa’s life.” – Dave
· “Oh, good, Oprah is back on the market!” – Anna
· “So easy, even a caveman can do it!” – waxes!
· “When she’s dating again she’ll cut it all off and donate it to cancer victims” – Peter B
· “You’re Not Gonna Stop Shaving Mine, Are You?” – Trey Jackson
Little girl: I want Santa to get me a Bratz doll for Christmas!
Mother: Yeah? Which one?
Little girl: The one that looks like me.
Mother, mumbling: Honey, you don’t look like a five-dollar crack whore.
Little girl: What?
Mother: Nothing.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
