MTA worker #1: Que sera, sera.
MTA worker #2: Is that French?
MTA worker #1: Yeah.
–Times Square subway station
Overheard by: Cat
MTA worker #1: Que sera, sera.
MTA worker #2: Is that French?
MTA worker #1: Yeah.
–Times Square subway station
Overheard by: Cat
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever — the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away… That movie was awesome!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
–Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I’m recording this!
–Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it’s my Bible. I hang on every word, ’cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren’t like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I’ve ever seen!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
–The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
Girl #1: What did you get?
Girl #2: Just some blank CDs at Virgin.
Girl #1: Oh, really? Any good ones?
–Union Square
Headline by: mkb
Runners-Up:
· “And by blank CDs I mean ninja stars” – Circuit City Ginzu
· “I Hear That CD-R Is Going to Hit It Big Some Day” – Amanda
· “Someone Needs Her Neurons Popped” – adam a. n.
· “Yeah, This John Cage Anthology Fucking Rules” – t.a.m.s.y.
Girl #1: Did you go to the restaurant I told you? The one with the waiter who–
Girl #2: –Fucks you with his eyes? Oh, yes.
–AMC, Times Square
Teen chick hugging teen boy: Bye, baby, I’m gonna miss you so much.
Teen boy: I farted.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lois
Woman #1: Hey! How have you been?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Forget it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jane
Girl #1: So I hear you’re single again.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s great. I can stop shaving my ass!
–Outside Starbucks, Times Square
Headline by: Marsha Mellow
Runners-Up:
· “Donkey Breathes Sigh of Relief” – Mike Curry
· “Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Shorn” – Adrianne
· “It was the happiest day of Mother Teresa’s life.” – Dave
· “Oh, good, Oprah is back on the market!” – Anna
· “So easy, even a caveman can do it!” – waxes!
· “When she’s dating again she’ll cut it all off and donate it to cancer victims” – Peter B
· “You’re Not Gonna Stop Shaving Mine, Are You?” – Trey Jackson
Little girl: I want Santa to get me a Bratz doll for Christmas!
Mother: Yeah? Which one?
Little girl: The one that looks like me.
Mother, mumbling: Honey, you don’t look like a five-dollar crack whore.
Little girl: What?
Mother: Nothing.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
Hippie chick: They don’t use dryers in that country. I hung them outside.
Ditzy chick yelling over traffic: You what them?!
Hippie chick: Hung… Hung… Like a penis.
Ditzy chick: How do you hang a penis?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Hot chick walks by in Yankees sweatshirt.
Guy to friend: Dude. Dude, that girl is hot as fuck. I would hit that so hard.
Mets fan nearby: Ouch. Sucks she’s a Yankees fan.
Guy: What? Who the hell cares? She could have a fucking penis, and I’d still hit that shit up, down, left, right, and diagonally.
Mets fan: That’s kinda gay.
–Times Square
