Tourist: Where do we get the Uptown A?
Local: Right here. Down those stairs.
Tourist: But is it Uptown? The sign doesn’t say ‘Uptown’ or ‘Downtown.’
Local: You can get them both here.
Tourist: But we need Uptown. How will we know it’s there if there’s no sign?
Local: Blind faith, I guess.
Tourist: I think we should take a cab.
–Outside W 4th St subway
Tourist: Are you selling those?
Guy with fake handbags: Of course not! We’re the police.
–Church & Fulton
Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”
Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes?
Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Woman Passenger: How do we get Bowery Street?
Passerby: Fuck you, you fucking clit, I love you!
–Bowery
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Tourist: People are so nice here. I just love this city. Do you like living here?
New Yorker: It’s the best place in the world.
Tourist: Oh, it’s great. And so diverse!
New Yorker: Yes, it is.
Tourist: So many black people!
New Yorker: Um…yes.
Tourist: Black people and Asians!
New Yorker: Mm-hmm.
–F Train
A tourist woman examines Dali’s masterpiece and comments: Oh hey, this is supposed to be famous, but I can’t remember why.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Australian tourist to hobo on bench: Oh, shit, where am I?
Hobo on bench: Welcome to hell, lady.
Australian tourist to hobo: No, mate, I just flew in from there yesterday.
–Central Park
French tourist girlfriend, arguing with boyfriend: Do you think I'm not being serious?I can't take it anymore!
French tourist boyfriend, with constant little smile: Tu trouverais pas cela plus stylé d'aller au bord de l'eau? (“Don't you think it would be much nicer to go on the waterfront?”)
(girlfriend leaves)
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Tom
American tourist: Where you're from?
European tourist: Berlin.
American tourist: Ah, Berlin–that's sooo lovely!
European tourist: You been there?
American tourist: Well, almost… We've been to, like… Barcelona?
–E 42nd St
