Tourist dressed like biker: Excuse me, do you know where the dancing monkeys are?
New Yorker: (silence)
Tourist: Dancing monkeys?
New Yorker: You're in New York, they're on every street corner.
–Broadway & White
Tourist dressed like biker: Excuse me, do you know where the dancing monkeys are?
New Yorker: (silence)
Tourist: Dancing monkeys?
New Yorker: You're in New York, they're on every street corner.
–Broadway & White
Woman #1: I think we should beat him up.
Woman #2: I’m a Muslim Buddhist Jew. I don’t wanna listen to his Christian rock!
Woman #3: Hee hee…yeah!
–Financial District
Queer #1: I hear Jerry got a haircut.
Queer #2: It doesn’t matter: he still has scabies.
–Reade St & Lafayette
Five-year-old white child: Mommy, today’s Kwanzaa!
Mom: Yes, honey.
Five-year-old white child: And tomorrow is Kwanzaa!
Mom: Uh-huh. Yes.
Five-year-old white child: And the day after! Ahhh! [Child squeals with delight.]
–Fulton & Nassau
Drunk guy to drunk girls hailing a cab: Hey there, ladies. Happy Halloween!
Drunk girl #1: Sorry, I'm not drunk enough to go home with you.
Drunk girl #2: I am!
–El Sombrero, Essex & Allen
Overheard by: Kate
Man on cell, inaudible at first: … Whale sperm.
Business chick: Did you just say ‘whale sperm’?
Man, to chick: Yeah.
Business chick: Perfect!
Man, into cell: Great. I’ll be there in two minutes.
–55 Water St
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
Guy #1, discussing Plaxico Burress: Who the hell would name their kid “Plaxico”? Sounds like the name of an equine.
Guy #2: A what?
Guy #1: A horse, nigga.
Guy #2: Sheeeit!
–Whitehall & Water
Overheard by: PJ P.
Guy #1: I dont understand why they gotta touch little boys.
Guy #2: Hmmm.
Guy #1: You touch little boys?!
Guy #2: No honey, I just touch grown men.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Dj Dharma
20-something girlfriend: Are those cigarettes you smoke?
20-something boyfriend: No, they are herbal.
20-something girlfriend: What do you mean?
20-something boyfriend: Instead of tobacco they put herbs in it, so they are less addicting and less harmful for you.
–Near City Hall Park
Conspicuously buffed guy #1: Yeah, we could all be roommates!
Conspicuously buffed guy #2: Yeah!
Super hip woman, pushing expensive stroller: Yeah! (to baby in stroller) Can you say loft? Loft?
–W Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
