20-something girl: You know, it’s just not in Donna… It’s just not in her hema-… hema-… What’s it called? It’s just not in her hematoma to be cool.
Friend: Totally! I know! No matter how she cuts her hair at any age she’ll just never look good.
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Abby
Dude looking at sign for Godiva store: If you look at that sign, you could read it as ‘Go diva.’
Chick: Yeah, if you look at it through gay goggles.
–The Village
Thug to tourist taking picture: Yeah, bitch, I’m in your picture! I’m in your picture! Put it on MySpace, bitch!
–W 34th & 7th
Overheard by: nisey79
Thug to friend: Nigga, it’s hard to explain… It looked… like a decorated cosine curve!
–110th & Lenox
Overheard by: Curly Ku
Thugette to thug boyfriend: This ain’t Valentine’s Day. You slap me I’ll slap you back!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Krissss
Thug to his baby, after carrying her stroller down the subway steps: Woo-hah, I got you all in check.
–6 train station, 59th St
Overheard by: Jackie
Thug: Shit. Jimmy Hoffa’s lucky he don’t gotta pay taxes.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: In debt on the F train
Thug: That thang was so big you could put a whole paragraph on it!
–6 train
Mom: … But it was hopeless. But I was stuck there, like a little Dutch boy with my finger in a dike for two hours.
Daughter: Huh? Like, a girl?
–Basement of the MoMA
Teacher: Why shouldn’t they ban the N-word in New York City?
Black kid: Because it’s my favorite word!
–Wings Academy, Bronx
Ghetto girl #1: I love guys that can saaang!
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, me too. They be marinatin’ you. That shit’s mad sexy.
Ghetto girl #1: Marinate? The fuck?! You mean ‘serenate.’ You’s a stupid-ass bitch!
–G train, Clinton-Washington station
Overheard by: all up in your grill
Guy looking at billboard at construction site: The ‘One Ill Building’? That’s a stupid name for an apartment building!
Friend: You’re the dumbass. That says the ‘O’Neill Building.’
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Pierce
Brooklyn guy #1: Let me tell you something…
Brooklyn guy #2: No, don’t even bother.
–B100 bus, Marine Park
Overheard by: vaughn
Dude #1: So, what’s the verdict with you two?
Girl: Verdict? Huh?
Dude #1: You know — what’s the verdict?
Dude #2: He wants to know what’s up between you and me.
Girl: Oh. Verdict. That’s an awfully big word.
–Flatbush-bound 2 train
Overheard by: Sonia
Guy: You know what? Fuck you! F-C-U… Goddammit.
Girl: That’s right, dumbass!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: laughing my ass off
