Girl #1: Oh my god, I need something cold and sweet in my mouth, like, now! Like, a frozen sugared penis!
Girl #2: Oooh! With Splenda on it?!
Girl #1: Oh, no! I so do not eat that. Splenda is tested on animals!
–MacDougal St
Overheard by: SarahC
Girl #1: Oh my god, I need something cold and sweet in my mouth, like, now! Like, a frozen sugared penis!
Girl #2: Oooh! With Splenda on it?!
Girl #1: Oh, no! I so do not eat that. Splenda is tested on animals!
–MacDougal St
Overheard by: SarahC
Guy on cell: Yeah…right…uh huh…hold on a second.
He leans over and throws up on the sidewalk.
Guy on cell: What were you saying?
–59th & 5th
Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard
Woman #1: I wanna get really stoned so I can throw up.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Just to know I can.
–LIRR
Girl: I want to throw up. Like, I have some puke in the back of my throat.
–Broadway & West 4th
Overheard by: Julia
Girl #1: Want to get take-out?
Girl #2: Sure. I feel like something warm and vegetarian.
Girl #1: Like what?
Girl #2: Hmm. Oh! Like a tuna sandwich.
–Upper West Side
Boyfriend holding up slutty top: What about this one?
Girlfriend: If you were a girl you’d be the biggest skank in New York.
–Charlotte Russe, Manhattan Mall, 33rd & 6th
Headline by: Scott
Runners-Up:
· “And knock the Statue of Liberty right off that pedestal.” – LORI
· “But at least it flatters my man-boobs” – Andrew
· “I learned from the best” – Breanne S.
· “Putting the “Ho” back in “Homeboy”” – cinekat
· “What She Doesn’t Know Won’t Hurt Her” – Alison R.
Bimbette #1: Oh my god! I just realized my brother and I have the same last name!
Bimbette #2: Really?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, it never hit me before.
–BX10 Bus
Overheard by: My mom and I too
Sorostitute #1: … And I was like, ‘Uhhh!’ And she was like ‘Uhhh!’ And of course he wanted to come back to the apartment.
Sorostitute #2: Oh my god, I know!
–7th & 1st, East Village
Girl #1: So I’m like 3 months late and I have no idea what to do about it.
Girl #2: Well, you have to take a pregnancy test!
Girl #1: No, those things are so hard!
Girl #2: How fucking hard can it be to pee on a stick?
Girl #1: Pretty fucking hard!
–Manhattan Beach
Brunette #1: They wouldn't stop making dumb blonde jokes about me!
Brunette #2: But you're not even blonde!
Brunette #1: And I'm not dumb, either!
Brunette #2: Yes, you are.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Bimbette daughter: So, you like, had to, like, grow corn and shit when you were little?
Old hippie father: Yeah, before I moved to Oregon. We had cows.
Bimbette daughter: Ewww! You had to milk cows?
Old hippie father: Yeah, but cows don’t help with household chores, though. Only crocodiles can do that.
Bimbette daughter: Word.
–Barnes & Noble
