Professor: So, does anybody know why the ocean is salty?
Bimbette: Isn’t it because of all the whale sperm?
–Oceanography class, Kingsborough Community College, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Professor: So, does anybody know why the ocean is salty?
Bimbette: Isn’t it because of all the whale sperm?
–Oceanography class, Kingsborough Community College, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Chick: Oh my god, Ali. You totally motorboated me at the bar last night!
Ali: And then you showed your tits to everyone, you whore.
Chick: Yeah, but I got a free shot.
Ali: And I do enjoy seeing your tits…
Ali’s boyfriend: Is it weird that you like her tits more than me?
–Metro North out of Fordham
Bimbette #1: There’s this castle on the West coast… I think it belongs to the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, he seems like a West coast kind of guy.
–Train from Poughkeepsie to Manhattan
Bimbette on cell: He cheated on me! Yes, he did! He cheated on me and then I gave him another chance and he cheated on me again. And then I gave him another chance and he cheated on me again… Well, I gave him another chance because he would write me these nice love letters…
–12th & Broadway
Annoying girl on first date: Now, I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, so my engagement ring will really have to be spectacular.
Dazed guy: [Silence.]Annoying girl: And I’ve decided that I’ve got to have a destination wedding.
–Seafood restaurant, 77th & 3rd
Chick to distraught girl in bathroom stall: Hey, yo, girl — I fucked the bouncer, so I could get you some water if you need it.
–Off the Wagon, MacDougal St
Headline by: Hellespont
Runners-Up:
· “I also fucked your boyfriend, maybe I could talk him into taking you back” – Rudeboy
· “If you need a sandwich i’m gonna need a condom” – Chris
· “Mother Teresa; The Early Years” – rose
· “Skanks Develop New Currency in Response to Global Warming” – ilemanzer
· “So That’s Why They Call it Tap Water” – Jeff St Real
NYU bimbette #1: What were the original seven wonders of the world?
NYU bimbette #2: I don’t know — some shit that I’ve never heard of. Hold on, I’ll look it up… The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Where the fuck is that?
NYU bimbette #1: I don’t know… Long Island?
–NYU BOBST Library
Chick #1: Like, seriously. What is a BMW?
Chick #2: I think it’s a car.
Chick #1: Um, I don’t think so.
–7 train
Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…
–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave
Blonde: Gosh, these lines are, like, so long.
Brunette: Yep.
Blonde: I’m, like, not from here so, like, I’m not used to this.
Brunette: Uh-huh.
Blonde: I’m actually from, like, Ohio. Where are you from?
Brunette: Albany.
Blonde: Oh my gosh, really?! Say something in Albanian!
Employee passerby: Fucking tourists…
–Banana Republic Women, Soho
Overheard by: MistressSilver
