It Was So Obviously a Piece of Coal

Black woman: My god. This bagel is hard as a rock!…I mean I can’t eat this shit. Can you eat this shit?
White guy: I’ll eat it.
Black woman: Ugh.
White guy: Well if you dont want to eat it, I’ll eat it. I’m hungry.
Black woman: I’m just sayin’ it’s the worst goddamn bagel I’ve ever had.
White guy: Honey, it’s from Dunkin’ Donuts. What do you expect? Domino’s ain’t good pizza and Olive Garden ain’t good Italian, either.
White chick: Dude! Next thing I know you’ll be telling her there is no Santa Claus. Go easy.

–Borough Hall 4/5 station

Overheard by: phil j

Posted on December 26, 2005
Black People, Brooklyn, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Pizza, White People, Women

Is It Crown Heights Day Already?

Jewish man: But I was here first! I was waiting!
Black chick: All right sir, just calm down. It doesn’t matter. Get a life.
Jewish man: Why don’t you go back to jail?
Black chick: Yeah, and why don’t you go get some viagra or something?
Jewish man: Yeah, I’d need it for you.
Black chick: Fuck you, bitch!

–Court Street Office Supplies, Brooklyn Hights

Overheard by: mrmcd

Posted on December 19, 2005
Black People, Brooklyn, Etiquette, Getting Off, Hootchies, Jews, Judaism, Race, Women

They Do Have Lots of Wings in Asia

A little Asian boy sneezes without covering his mouth.

Black lady: Excuse you!
Asian mom: He’s only 3, he didn’t know any better.
Black lady: Haven’t you heard of bird flu, motherfucka!

–M96 bus

Overheard by: Chris Roberts

Girl #1: I feel like shit. I think I’ve got the Asian Bird Flu.
Girl #2: Don’t you mean Avian Bird Flu?
Girl #1: Whatever.

–56th & Broadway

Overheard by: K.M

Woman: Isn’t it here in America?
Teen boy: Naw…it’s in Japan. All these people be dying from it. Thank god Bush won’t let it in the country.

–Associated Supermarket, Astoria

Overheard by: Demy

Posted on December 19, 2005
Asians, Black People, Boys, Girls, Grocery Stores, Illness, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Bus, Stupidity

He Nailed If I Were a Rich Man

Guy #1: Where’s DeShawn at?
Guy #2: Nigga’s probably fucking that bitch from Saturday night, that nigga is a pimp.
Guy #3: Nah dude, he’s at play practice.

–6 train

Posted on December 6, 2005
Black People, Men, Names, On the Subway, Sex, Theater & Dance

Wednesday One-liners: The Pole

Old man on pay phone: If I see another nigger on this street, I’m gonna rip his dick off and eat it!

–Chambers & Church

Overheard by: Ziggy

Posted on November 30, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Food, Old People, Penis, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Welcome to the Jungle

Black girl: I didn’t want to say this in there, but have you noticed how all Mexican men working in bars and restaurants look the same?
White girl #1: Well I bet they all think that white women look the same.
White girl #2: Well all elephants probably look the same to gorillas.

–West 3rd Street & 6th Avenue

Posted on November 28, 2005
Animals & Nature, Assholes, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Race, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, The Village, White People

Stopping Anti-Semitism Should Be the Cheap One

Hobo: Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar? Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar?
Lady: Here, take $5. Now get off the train. You givin’ us black people a bad name.

–D train

Posted on November 12, 2005
Black People, Hobos, Money & Class, On the Subway, People, Places

Black People