Black girl: I’m just going to remain celibate until I meet a nice-looking white man.
Friend: Look how fast he’s walking away!
–Garfield & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mark S
Black girl: I’m just going to remain celibate until I meet a nice-looking white man.
Friend: Look how fast he’s walking away!
–Garfield & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mark S
Black dude #1: Hey, snowflakes!
Black dude #2: Wanna drink some nigga juice tonight?
White chick #1 to friend: Are you sure you feel safe walking back by yourself?
White chick #2: Yeah, I usually don’t get harassed this much. I think it’s just because there are two of us.
White chick #1: So it’s exponential?
White chick #2: Exactly. Right now, we’re whiteness, squared.
–116th & Lex
Overheard by: blinded by the light
Younger black man with suitcase: I just want you all to know that I am getting on the train with a suspicious package.
Older black man, not looking up from his newspaper: Nigga, that is the stupidest thing you could have said.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: observing on the 1
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man?
–Odessa, Ave. A
Three white guys are dressed in prison uniforms.
Huge black guy: Those mothafuckas wouldn’t last a second in Attica.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: acep
Guy on cell: Jeff, it’s me. Quick question — when you get arrested, do you lose all of your civil liberties or just some? … ‘Cause these guys won’t leave me the fuck alone…
–Staten Island Ferry
Drunk Fordham student: Have you ever been in a Mexican prison? You have no idea what it’s like in a Mexican prison!
–Pugsley’s
Overheard by: Rachel Hoban
Lady on cell: He just graduated from culinary school, and he said he got the best job in the class. He’s the chef at Michigan State Prison.
–Broadway & Spring St
Girl, after lady bumps into her: I mean, if God bumps into me, that’s one thing — I wouldn’t say nothing, ’cause that’s God, you know? But she ain’t God, and I’m about to go to jail over her ass.
–Target, Brooklyn
Overheard by: santos
Black woman #1: When is the silicon going to dry?
Black woman #2: It's in bags. In my boobs. Dumb bitch.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lacy
Guy to male friend: We believe that the better you look, the more spiritual you are.
–1st St & 5th Ave., Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Man collecting money for the homeless: Come on guys, I’m way too pretty to be homeless.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Dara
Middle-aged African American male, with a blue NY Giants baseball cap on, and a fur coat: I’m pretty… I’m pretty… I’m pretty
–59th St Subway Station
Overheard by: nickporjr
Bum: Hey pretty! Hey pretty!
[Pretty girl coughs violently and sneezes at the same time.]Bum: Feel better, pretty.
–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Middle-aged, Chelsea-fit white guy on iPhone: Well, neither you nor any of your sisters were the beauty that I was…
–21st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sean
Middle-aged man: You know who was good-looking? Stalin, when he was younger. He was so dashing!
–104th & West End
Overheard by: communist!
Chick #1: You know, a year ago I didn’t even know who Tracy Chapman was.
Chick #2: Even I knew who she was, and I’m not even black!
Chick #1: Well, I’m not black in the ways that count. I’m not outwardly, identifiably black…Well, except for my skin color.
–Broadway & 116th
Black girl #1: I told all my white friends that I would be offended if they didn't get me a Kwanzaa present.
Black girl #2: What? I told all my white friends that I would be offended if they did get me a Kwanzaa present.
–Union Square
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Man, what are you excusing me about? Fuck you!
Old Chinese lady: Fuck me? Ok, take-a off the pant.
Stairway in silence.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Sure thing, ma’am. I’m sorry.
Chinese kid: And that’s why we respect our elders.
–Canal St station
